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October 2, 2007, 1:08 pm PDT
ummm plain & simple
Quote From: dreamgirletWow, I look at Jack on the show and he's tame compared to some of the people I've had to work with. I'm not trivializing what Jack has done or is doing, he is acting very immature and manipulating. It's so reminiscent of this guy I know. I wish I could get this couple I worked with in man camp. You would not believe this couple. The man is a manipulator beyond belief. His wife can't even attend church because he "imagines" her to have an affair even if she looks someones direction. He has beat her, abused her on many levels. He hasn't hit her lately because one of his own family members called the police on him. When they came in and sought help from me I knew how controlling and "know it all" he was. My approach is a lot like Dr. Phil's....so as a woman I had my husband stay in the office with me just in case. It took only 10 minutes for this guy to blow up and yell at me. My husband made him stand down. This man is a very hurting individual that had to put up with a murder in his family. I truly wish the show would help this couple. Trouble is I know he wouldn't go. I think about them a lot. I'm no longer in that city to be there for her but I worry about her. I wish she would wake up before something drastic happens. you need to help get that woman out of there. There is no "helping the couple" or him. Here is some reading for you http://www.lundybancroft.com/pages/articles.html According to Lundy Bancroft if there is an abuser who is attending couples threapy it will more than likely do more harm than good. Abusive men are normally emotional batterers as well and that's how it normally starts. for them to go to "therapy" they would just take what the therapist is suggesting & use it against their victim &/or he's just being armed with more reasoning for her to stay "I'm working on all this & going to therapy etc. you just want to throw in the towel" etc. etc. They're master manipulators & in couples counseling they're just given phycological jargin to spin more of an arguement with & to use to confuse their victim &/or have their victims thinking it's their fault & they deserve it etc. Many abusers actually look to go to couples counseling to re-enforce their position & re-enforce what they think it "wrong with you" the victim. If you're telling then what they don't want to hear or you don't re-enforce their position they'll move on to the next therapist/counselor.
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