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Replies to 'Differing Sex Drives'
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October 9, 2007, 11:29 am PDT
 Quote From: cooeymama Ok so this is the problem, my b/f of 4 yrs has an enourmous sex drive and unfortunately I don't anymore. It causes alot of problems in our relationship and it is the only thing we argue about. He would like to have sex at least 4 out of 7 days. I for some reason world be satisfied with a couple times a month. He thinks its because I'm not attracted to him but that is not the case at all. I am very attracted to him and sex is AWESOME when we have it. I work full time and have a 1 1/2 yr old and with that and keeping the house clean I am exhausted when I finally get to go to bed around 11 pm. I need some advice before he cheats, he has threatened to go out and get it from someone else on more than one occasion. I don' t think he would really do it but if he isn't considering it then why is he saying it. Also, he has told me the reason he hasn't proposed marriage is because if he doesn't get it now then he certainly won't get it then. Makes me feel like he loves sex more than me. Please help me ASAP !!!!!!! Cooeymama, are you still around? First, I want to give my opinion on something. Your boyfriend has threatened to "go out and get it from someone else" several times. He's not the kind of man to marry. You may not be able to see it now, but he has probably done you a favor by not proposing marriage. Maybe he does love sex more than he loves you. You need to get to the bottom of this before even thinking of marrying him and that won't happen if you just give in to sex when you don't feel like it. How about counseling?
The counseling would not be to get him to quit asking for sex or for you to learn to give it to him when you're exhausted. It would be for learning communications skills, talking about respecting another person's needs (like your need for sleep!), and working out the problems. Will he invest that energy into your relationship?
Just curious--does he work full time as well? Does he help with your child? Is he cleaning house, cooking, etc?
I have to say this--just because it's the only thing you argue about, it doesn't mean that giving him more sex will make everything peaceful. If he has no emotional investment in the relationship, he won't bother arguing about other issues. If he is there for the sex (and perhaps food, laundry service, etc), he may only bother to argue about that. See what I mean? Do you think he is emotionally connected to you? Is he respectful of your time and energy? How about your feelings? Does he care?
You have your hands so full! a 1-1/2 year old, a full time job AND housework, etc--not to mention a boyfriend who threatens to cheat--something has to go. What do you think it should be??
How old are you? |
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