Replies to '06/27 Follow-Ups'

what is a "pschobabble phrase" to you is something different to the people he is speaking to.  You would have nightmares for life if someone told you that, but that's because you are not in the position of the people attacked in their beds in the middle of the night.  Words have a great deal of power and in reality what he said was an empowering statement!   Some did indeed try to murder those two people in their beds but these people fought & did not die.  Now I personally would have like to see Dr. Phil work it so that it included the words "what should have beeen" so it would read "you were present at *what should have been* your own murder"  but in the end the meaning is the same in that they had already triumphed and he is trying to fire them up so as not to give up now & let that monster win by altering their lives completely.  The wife/mom not being able to return home takes away her power or makes the attacker the winner.  These are people who turned to Dr. Phil not just to tell their story but for him to help restore some of their power &/or enable them to let go of their fear a big, help them feel safe and to live a as close to normal as they could.   I believe Dr. Phil had said something to the effect of "I'm in awe of how brave you were.  you were present at your own murder.  You just didn't die."  He's telling him that he's truly impressed & that many would have laid down & died.  this man & woman didn't the fought back to push the guy out of the room & then while struggling to do so they got help and basically saved the kids.  I understood what he said & it made perfect sense to me.   He was empowering to them. 

 It's been a long time since this message was written, but I just came across it tonight. 

I could not disagree with you more.  It was supposed to be a murder when he shot her.  She is foolish for wanting to forgive and get back with him because he wanted her dead that moment he shot her.  If that is not a clue that something is terribly wrong, I don't know how many red flags it takes before the message kicks in.

In her case, she was so beaten down that she did not realize how bad her situation was INSPITE of the fact that he tried to kill her.  Dr. Phil said exactly what she needed to hear.

If you are shot in the eye 99.9 times out of 100, you will die.  This was not someone just goofing around or losing his temper...it was life or death.  Since she lived, why would she play Russian roulette again by going back with this man? 

Obviously, she didn't get the message the first time so Dr Phil restated the obvious for her.