Replies to 'Infidelity'

Quote From: jelebean1

Hi everyone. After almost 11 years of marriage I am at a loss on what to do. My hubby has left our family more times than I can count. The easiest way for me to begin to describe things is that he lives in this odd little world. It started a long time ago between us where he would just take off for a weekend when he got angry about things. Once the whole computer age took over it turned into chatting with women and viewing porn. This seems to be sporadic but consistent. Often he blamed our relationship issues on one of my children (sorry he knew I had them when he met me......) Two years ago he moved out and I caught him attempting to cheat with a woman. She was furious as he had deceived her too. His world is not just the whole sex issue but he used to lie and tell stories that he was in a war etc.....Once again I recently I found him online on swinger sites and in his email he had set up meetings that he swears he has not followed through on. (he had a stroke almost a month ago and his business trips were cancelled so his meetings went down the drain) He had the guts to tell me he didn't know if we were together or not. (ummmm-I live here and so do you etc....Marriage is a yes or no answer in my book)  He later wrote me a letter apologizing for his behavior and acknowledges that he has a problem and has had it for years long before he ever met me. He feels remorseful but has done little to get help. Together we have a daughter who adores him and of course she is the ultimate concern for me. I hate to  tear up her world but I can only play pretend for so long. The pain is beyond words and I do truly pity him at this point. After his stunt two years ago I am not so quick to forgive but I truly do have religious beliefs that make me want to hold on a well. Where do  I stand with God and what about unconditional love vs self respect, mentally, emotionally and physically? Any help is appreciated...Thanks!

Quote From: jelebean1

Hi everyone. After almost 11 years of marriage I am at a loss on what to do. My hubby has left our family more times than I can count. The easiest way for me to begin to describe things is that he lives in this odd little world. It started a long time ago between us where he would just take off for a weekend when he got angry about things. Once the whole computer age took over it turned into chatting with women and viewing porn. This seems to be sporadic but consistent. Often he blamed our relationship issues on one of my children (sorry he knew I had them when he met me......) Two years ago he moved out and I caught him attempting to cheat with a woman. She was furious as he had deceived her too. His world is not just the whole sex issue but he used to lie and tell stories that he was in a war etc.....Once again I recently I found him online on swinger sites and in his email he had set up meetings that he swears he has not followed through on. (he had a stroke almost a month ago and his business trips were cancelled so his meetings went down the drain) He had the guts to tell me he didn't know if we were together or not. (ummmm-I live here and so do you etc....Marriage is a yes or no answer in my book)  He later wrote me a letter apologizing for his behavior and acknowledges that he has a problem and has had it for years long before he ever met me. He feels remorseful but has done little to get help. Together we have a daughter who adores him and of course she is the ultimate concern for me. I hate to  tear up her world but I can only play pretend for so long. The pain is beyond words and I do truly pity him at this point. After his stunt two years ago I am not so quick to forgive but I truly do have religious beliefs that make me want to hold on a well. Where do  I stand with God and what about unconditional love vs self respect, mentally, emotionally and physically? Any help is appreciated...Thanks!