Message Boards
Replies to 'The Meaning of "Family"'
|
October 7, 2007, 10:33 am PDT
 Quote From: mlahambabe I was cleaning the house yesterday and I walked into my son's room and noticed that his diary was open and on his computer table. I decided to take a look and see what he has been writing about and boy was I surprised!!! First, he talks about how he wants to be a university dean/president. What??? So all of these conversations I have had with him about how he's going to be a doctor have been for nothing and worthless?? So he's been lying to me when he said, "Yes mom, I do want to go to medical school." Is he kidding me about being a university executive? At 16, why is he even thinking about working at a university?! Second, he writes so much about sex that I want to throw his diary out the window, or better yet burn it to pieces. He uses such explicit language and talks about how he wants to "lick in between her legs and slowly slide into her feeling her warmth and wetness." WTH!!???? Where did my baby boy get such ideas from?
Third, he talks about how he wants to get married around 30, have his first kid at 31, and his second at 32 or 33, and only have two kids. He talks about the kind of woman he wants to marry and writes about stuff that just irritates me. How does he know what type of woman he wants to marry, and when/how he is going to have kids??? Oh, and he talks about how he wants to go to an out of state university. Yeah right, like I am going to let him go out of state. Did he forget about the times we talked about how he is going to go to an in-state university?? WTH is he planning his own life without consulting with me and getting approval, lol?? Little boy thinks he is all grown up at 16 and can make decisions for himself. The stuff he wants to do is not what we planned on having him do and I badly want to talk to him about it, but my husband says that he will become angry if he finds out I read his diary, but I don't really care. What do you guys think?? I am afraid of letting my baby grow up. I agree with your husband, don’t confront your son about the contents of his diary- his diary is a place for your son to write down things that he can’t share with anyone in his life. It is personal and private, knowing that his mother read it could really change his life; and I don’t mean in a good way. Your son is only 16! If he is fantasizing about being a dean at a college or any other profession, it is simply that- a fantasy. Getting so upset about this is a waste of energy and time. What if he wants to be both a Dr. and a professor of some kind? Could happen! The whole sex thing- yes, that would totally gross me out too. Where is he getting those ideas? The internet is probably the number one source; second behind that is porn. When teens get together, they might swear up and down they don’t look at porn, but they do. My advice would be to have your husband have a talk to him about sex and porn, and how the two differ. |
|
|
January 18, 2008, 2:38 am PST
Quote From: mlahambabe I was cleaning the house yesterday and I walked into my son's room and noticed that his diary was open and on his computer table. I decided to take a look and see what he has been writing about and boy was I surprised!!! First, he talks about how he wants to be a university dean/president. What??? So all of these conversations I have had with him about how he's going to be a doctor have been for nothing and worthless?? So he's been lying to me when he said, "Yes mom, I do want to go to medical school." Is he kidding me about being a university executive? At 16, why is he even thinking about working at a university?! Second, he writes so much about sex that I want to throw his diary out the window, or better yet burn it to pieces. He uses such explicit language and talks about how he wants to "lick in between her legs and slowly slide into her feeling her warmth and wetness." WTH!!???? Where did my baby boy get such ideas from?
Third, he talks about how he wants to get married around 30, have his first kid at 31, and his second at 32 or 33, and only have two kids. He talks about the kind of woman he wants to marry and writes about stuff that just irritates me. How does he know what type of woman he wants to marry, and when/how he is going to have kids??? Oh, and he talks about how he wants to go to an out of state university. Yeah right, like I am going to let him go out of state. Did he forget about the times we talked about how he is going to go to an in-state university?? WTH is he planning his own life without consulting with me and getting approval, lol?? Little boy thinks he is all grown up at 16 and can make decisions for himself. The stuff he wants to do is not what we planned on having him do and I badly want to talk to him about it, but my husband says that he will become angry if he finds out I read his diary, but I don't really care. What do you guys think?? I am afraid of letting my baby grow up. I totally agree with jaime1974 and rarediamondgem. they are telling you the truth. I couldn't have put it better myself. Our children are growing up to fast, but there's nothing we can do. My children keeps journals themselves and as tempted as I get I try not to read it. I'm not going to lie Yes I've read some things and found out things. But if they are not hurting themselves or others I don't mind what they write as long as they are not keeping it bundled up inside or getting hurt by it. But what I will do is somehow while talking about their friends of something I'll bring up a subject that they mentioned in the dairy ( not what they wrote) but just the subject and then we will discuss it. then eventually the come clean about what they wrote with out me drilling it out of them. Because they feel comfortable that I'm not going to fly of the handle and beat the hell out of them. i always tell my children that when they need to tell me something that they know I'm going to get upset, don't be afraid to tell me. Except that I'll get mad and let me get over the initial shock. Knowing that you warned me that I'll get mad will make me stop and think before getting out of control. So we can sit and discuss it and find out what we can do about it. my son is the only boy in a house with me, his grandmother and 3 sisters. can you imagine what's he's going through on a monthly basis' I respect him enough not to invade his privacy when it comes to his room. Because of all the hormones he puts up with from us women. But I make sure that he respects us and understands that it's not that we want to be that way it just happens and he needs to be patient with all of us. So I think I'm giving him the skills on how to be with and treat women. That's all i'm worried about.What he writes or fantasizes is his business. as long his not hurting anyone. Aloha, brokeninside |
|
Return to the Message Board
