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Replies to '10/11 Munchausen Mom'
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October 12, 2007, 11:50 am PDT
 Quote From: chromedaffodil You see this in someone - you know it is happening - you are brave enough to stand up and stop it - but the county does not fully understand and recognize it - the courts take it lightly when considering for custody - because, oh yes, you are in a custody battle brought on by the person with this and more disorders. You are aware of a child she gave birth to in years past with no record of where that child is. Reporting it multiple times to children services, the court casa worker, the legal people and even begging her own doctor to report this to children services (he has the records of the live birth, yet she told them it was an error in their records) the office refused. Noone will help - she now has another child and fighting to get the one out of her custody back in her custody. At least in this area, society is blind to her stability - they just increased her time with her child. She has made no improvements. We want no harm to her, but help, although many people have outrage and hate for the ex - or the ex of your spouse - we TRULY dislike her actions, but try to extend grace to her and kindness and we at times, fail as we are human, but as many times as she calls and harasses, name calls and curses to name a few, we tolerate and give her chances to be better - to have phone time with her child, etc, we realize she has a mental illness/ brain difference and needs care for it. Although this does not and should not be permission to be alone with her children. My concern is the people who know and see these problems are people who are close to the mom, maybe to close, and when they bring it to the attention of the courts, etc. then they are accused of trying to just dig up dirt on the other person, etc. and it actually hurts their "case" and allows the mom more time alone in the end.... what do you do then - what do you do then?????? Help. please. There is a common belief that disputes including legal disputes are about issues -- the bigger issues drive bigger, more difficult conflicts. The decision to pursue a highly adversarial legal approach requiring the use of many legal procedures (deposition, subpoenas, hearings, and a trial) are often the result of a high conflict personality. High conflict personalities often determine the direction of the entire case. Some of my favorite books that provide some very helpful introductory legal insight are:
High Conflict People in Legal Disputes by Bill Eddy OR Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex OR Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us by Robert Hare
Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss AND Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward
Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back...by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger OR Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman
Getting Help: The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood OR Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh
How to Journal for Therapy: http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm
Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny. But just as physical and sexual abuse have signposts to mark their presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits. Just as physical and sexual abuse come in degrees of severity, emotional abuse runs the gamut of intensity and damage.
Hope it helps!
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