This article has 12 Qs to ask yourself... I think it's what you wanted :)
Calling It Quits
Dr. Phil believes most people in America are too quick to get divorced. You shouldn't get a divorce, he says, until 1) you have turned over every stone & investigated every avenue of rehabilitation possible, & 2) you have no unfinished emotional business.
Have you gotten help for your marriage? Have you exhausted all avenues of putting your marriage back together? That means everything from reading books or going to a marriage counselor, to speaking to a clergy member & spending time focusing on you & your role in what's going on.
You need to ask yourself:
- What was your marriage like when it worked?
- When did it go wrong? Why?
- Is what you're fighting about worth breaking up your marriage over?
- What do you want?
- What is it costing you to be in your relationship?
- Are you willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work?
- What are you doing to contaminate the relationship?
Divorce Readiness Test:
"You know you're ready for a divorce when you can walk out the door with no anger, frustration or hurt. Otherwise, you've got unfinished business," says Dr. Phil. "Unless & until you look each other in the eye feeling peace, no hatred or resentment, you're not ready to get a divorce."
Do not make life-changing decisions in the midst of emotional turmoil. Such consequential decisions should not be made when tensions are high. Get on flat ground first so you can look at things more rationally.
Ask yourself:
- Are you still in love with your spouse?
- Are you hurt?
- Are you scared?
- Are you angry?
- Are you confused?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, you've failed the test. This is not the time to make life-changing decisions. You have more work to do.
