Replies to 'Co-Parenting'

Setting a dollar amount is the reasonable and fairest thing to do. Your husband buying a six year old an X-box 360 is extravagant, unfair and in my opinion, as a parent, unreasonable. I say unreasonable because a six year old will not comprehend the dollar value of this big-ticket item; a six year old will receive a gift like this and he will expect more and bigger from then on. If his gifts aren’t as great as this X-box, from here on out, the child will feel disappointment. It will be difficult to please him. Therefore, in your husband’s efforts to deliver a special gift, what he is actually doing is making life difficult from the moment the wrapping is taken off.
It isn’t the child’s fault; it is the parents fault.
Your husband is creating an over-indulged citizen who will go out into the world undisciplined and face many disappointments.
I’m assuming that this isn’t something your husband discussed with you, it is something he has decided upon whether you approve or not, correct? What is your usual response to situations like this? When your husband doesn’t discipline his son, do you have discussions about it? And if so, does he ever give you reasons for his inaction? In many cases of divorced parents, the parent who doesn’t see the child very often will indulge them with material items and/or money to compensate for not being there on a daily basis. Basically, your husband is trying to purchase his guilt away. He doesn’t discipline fairly because he is ‘afraid’ of making his child mad; he probably won’t admit that but I’m sure it is true to some degree.
As for advice, you and your husband must get on the same page and work together. It isn’t easy, it takes work. The easier thing to do is just let things go the way that they are, although you know it is wrong. The end result will be resentment, bitterness, perhaps even divorce. The end result for your child will also be resentment; the result for his child will be greed and lack of accountability. None of that sounds good, right? But it is easier than dealing with the issues now. The hard thing to do, and the right thing to do, is to fight for what is right at this point in time. I wish you the best of luck!