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October 31, 2007, 9:11 am PDT
I know
Quote From: myvirtueGreat topic. I've dealt with an often crippling form of this since I was 14, never wearing my hair up, not looking at people while I'm speaking so I can't see what I will interpret as their negative reaction to my physical appearance, dropping out of college classes so people can't see me, and once not leaving my house for 6 months because I 'couldn't get my eyebrows to fix'. The inability to verbally communicate with people for fear they're harshly judging my face has been the toughest aspect of this affliction. I'm coping better these days, though I've been a model in the past and I'm complimented almost daily (without prompting), I still don't feel pretty. I hope to hear some great advice in dealing and strategies to overcome this pschological straight-jacket from Dr. Phil! 14 was the age I was when I looked at my school picture and saw how big my nose was. It was also the age my acne started and it has not gone away. I have avoided pictures ever since.
Forty years later, I am convinced I have had bad luck with men because I am too ugly to be taken seriously. I am someone to be used because I am so ugly, I must be desperate and anything goes.
I work at a school and yesterday was Picture Day. I did not take one. Why waste their ink and paper on something I will just throw away.
When I have any kind of bump or blemish on my body, I pick at it hoping I can make it go away because it just adds to the many imperfections that make me ugly.
I plan on making a T-shirt that says " No need to keep staring, I know I am ugly"
I really see no reason for anyone to spend any time looking at me other then for that reason and if I find someone staring, I will give them a dirty look to make that person stop.
Rather I would have believed them or not, it would have been nice for just one person to say I was pretty on one of the many times I said I was ugly, but no one ever did. Leads me to believe I am right.
I did not have my first date until I was 29. I have never had a boyfriend. I could go on and on about the things in my life that lead me to feel the way I do.
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