Replies to 'Infidelity'

I definately think that marriage counseling is a good idea regardless of the outcome of your marriage.  You two need to get your hurt and anger out in the open in a controlled environment such as a therapists office.

Many couples need direction as they can't fix the issues that are destroying their marriage.   If you should both decide that this marriage is not salvageable then at least a therapist can help you two co-parent the children and help you through a divorce.

Living with an alcoholic all those years is more than most of us can handle.  This disease ruins lives and families.  You have to work on forgiving yourself as well as him as I'm sure you are holding alot of resentments towards him.  He needs to forgive himself for ruining your marriage and the emotional and physial abuse he made you endure.  Sounds easy but we all know it is not.  

If you two can ever get on the same page and forgive yourselves and eachother for the past you could have an incredible marriage.  I hope that the both of you are in AA and AlAnon as well. 

Make an appt. with a therapist and agree not to argue about the past.  Fighting will get you no where at this point both of you are too upset, angry, hurt and confused to make any headway or decisions.  Most therapist will recommend a year in therapy before any final decision should be made.