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Replies to '07/04 Body Dysmorphia'
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November 1, 2007, 12:43 pm PDT
 Quote From: lizadams3500 I know that I probably seemed unsympathetic towards my sister. She neither has walked in my shoes. I am married with 2 wonderful children and I am very busy. My day starts at 6a.m. and ends at 11 p.m. My children and husband wake up in the morning to a healthy breakfast that I have prepared for them. I help them get ready and they are off to work and school. I work out for 30 minutes and then I get ready for work. My huband and I have been blessed with a wonderful business in real estate. I leave work at 3:00 to then get my children and take them to their activities. My son is very acitve in sports - golf, football, basketball etc. and my daughter is acitve in soccer, ballet and basketball. Our activities end usually at 6:30. We usually are home by 7:00 when I start dinner, clean the house, do the laundry and help with homework. By this time it is 9:30 and the kids go to bed. I continue to do the rest of my housework and take a break by watching the 11 o'clock news. I love my life and wouldn't have it any other way.
I have also been there for my sister through all of her turmoil. I have spent countless hours listening, arguing, laughing and praying for my sister. She needs help now more than ever. I wanted Dr Phil to know that her disorder is out of control and that we need a strong therapist or psychiatrist to give her the much needed medical care. My sister made an appointment with the psychiatrist after the show and then rescheduled because she thought that she was not presentable enough to make the appointmet. This is exactly what I was trying to point out to Dr. Phil.
Sorry if I seemed rude or cruel - that was not my intention.
Liz
Liz, I am so glad you recognize that you came across harshly because you really did. I was so angry after seeing your response to your sister I actually signed up for this thing.
Your life is a choice - and so are your responsibilities, your children and marriage. If you don't want to be a part of your sister's treatment you don't have to be. I think that was the point Dr. Phil was making - and a very good one I might add. That the people he has chosen to work with your sister do in fact KNOW what they are doing, and you really aren't in a position to judge or act critically. When you say things to the effect that you are sick of her "problems" and enough already - just stay out of it, because he's right - you're sabotaging her recovery.
If you can't stop the negative talk it would be better to pull back from the situation. It's just not going to help. I'm sure that Dr. Phil's team is going to be following up with things to get it on track.
Take a break and look after your family - they're your priority as they should be. There's no need to be codependent about it. Your sister's problems have cut into your relationship with your parents and family time, and you probably feel pulled in a variety of directions trying to manage.
There are times when the best thing you can do, is take care of yourself and let others get the help they need without you. Resentment and bitterness are a killer of relationships, and you don't need to feel guilty about your life, you just need to take care of your own and stop blaming your sister for messing up your schedule. That's your deal.
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