Replies to '03/13 DNA Dramas'

Pardon my bouncing from subject to subject. I am married to a woman who's ex-husband is over 19k in arrears and does not have medical coverage for 'his' daughter.  Both the child support and medical coverage were court ordered in March of 2005. It would take me 20 paragraphs of 15 to 20 scentences to explain in part what this man has put a ten year old through. He has Tourettes Syndrome and seeks no help for his malady. Nichole, ( my wife and his daughter) has a some-what slight case of the same as she is being treated for  'ADHD'.  This ex-husband has amoung other things, not returned Nichole after his summer visitation ceased, to my wife and I in Texas, cost me my job by fileing false charges againt me requiring me to go to NJ to face them; cost my family and I to ask for  assistance from the state of Texas and friends and family to pat rent and utilities. With every item I point out, there are five or mor items that come to mind. I think of Nichole as my own and would pay finicial support as well as moral support for her if my wife and I divorced. I do not make the money the guest does yet I have empathy and sympathy for the plight his ex-wife put him and THEI DAUGHTE in.

James

This lil girl was ten years old when her father dumped her. If he had adopted her this owuld have hurt just as much. The reasoning behind him doing this should have remained private between him and the exwife. The current wife is a shrew and did not belong in getting involved and has caused a rift.

There would be no adoption with the current husband and CPS would get involved in this case as the Father who raised them absolutely needs to be involved in this childs life, he is her father whether he is bio or not.

The bio father was a fling , simply fling probably gone and not able to be found.

I am  presumptuous on that, but people need to take in account the sins of the mother need not be put upon the child. the mother is at fault here, but the father should not have done what he did , it was emotional abuse of a child and both parents need to be taken to task for this.

Adoption is a bond and you cannot turn love off whether or not the sprm is not yours. He is not dumping an infant. He dumped a full grown child.

Men cannot be tricked into anything, I am tired of hearing that BS.

it take 2 to have sex and 2 to put on a condom and 2 to know when to stop having sex.

Never believe anyone when they say " I am sterile"

It is the place of every man and woman to take responsibility and know that when you have intercourse a child can be concieved.

There is no such a thing as being set up.

I have worked with men and women on this concept for years and it is all a bunch of BS.

That is a total myth and I know many women in this state who do pay child support.

In this state of Washington a progressive state we have cases of shared custody. YOU do not get shared custody if you are an alcoholic and drug use. You ahve to submit to drug testing on a regular basis.

False accusations of abuse are all investigated and all children are given private counsel  through the state of Washington.

Child support is not a reason not to see your children and cannot be used as a tool of extortionThe only set up are men who allowed them selves to be set up.  the only set up are women who allowed them selves to be set up and so far I have witnessed a few mens groups in this area in Washington state who have yelled screamed and protected men who are not very good people  and should not raise  goats, let alone a child.

Men have recourse.. a lawyer.

I went to law school and education from the school of life.  Gloria Aldredge (sp?) is on a mission, but she misses the point.

Many women manipulate men. . . . been doing it for a long time. Men manipulate women, too. The law cannot force people to have good relationships with one another, but they can enforce legal rights to some extent.

When a child is born from parents who manipulate and lie to one another, the child will suffer. You can't legislate a good relationship from that point on. People need to, as Dr. Phil would say "get real" about the situation and make effective decisions from that point forward.

The "bio mom" who manipulated Enrique didn't seem to have much shame.  . . so sadly, the child, being raised by this mom will likely suffer no matter what. The woman has no sense of morals, so the child hasn't much of a chance unless by some miracle, a "saint" enters the picture.

I don't blame Enrique for not testing sooner. When you have a child and bond with it, you don't want to know you're a sap for thinking it's yours. You also care about the baby. When the mom lies to Bio-dad, and all of the truth comes out, he now has information to make a decision. His income shouldn't be diverted from that point forward to the bio mom. Sadly, the child will suffer. . .and probably has been suffering. To invoke "best interests of the child" or to avoid having the child become a ward of the state is nonsense.

The bio-dad really doesn't have much input into nurturing and raising the child. . . and all she wants is his money. Well, the mom has the right to identify the true bio-dad, and have him pay until the child is 18.

Fraud is fraud.

If the mom is a great manipulator, she'll only move on to find another victim. If she develops morals and a conscience, the child has a chance.

I've seen a true story like this play out in real life. . . and it continues. Say a prayer. . . these folks need intervention.

Be well.

"The law is currently built around the best interest of the child. Yet men are being punished w/o recourse"  LOL are you implying that the law should be build around men? 

I have to tell you if my husband was raising a child and suddenly realized the child was not his his concern would not be "do I have to continue to pay for this child" but rather his concern would be "OMG I hope I'm allowed to continue to be a parent to this child".  He would not be fighting to NOT pay for the kid but rather wouldbe fighting to make certain he CAN take care of that child in ever sense of the word!  I only saw a piece of this show & I'm not sure that I do agree with someone being "tricked into believing he is a father" and then being forced to continue to pay for the child for the rest of his life.  On the other hand this isn't about just HIM but it's about a child!  When it comes to the "best interest of a child I'm not sure I agree that the best place for it would be with a parent that would use it as a means to extort money which is what a mother lying is doing IMO, HOWEVER if I thought that this person was just sincerely upset at the time & for some misguided reason thought it was best for all then yes I'd leave the child with the mom & I would hope that the man who had been acting as father would continue to do so if only so that this child didn't feel *ABANDONED* by the only father she'd ever known.  The person who contributes DNA is only that a sperm doner but the man a child knows as "daddy is the man they look to for love & *SECURITY* and the best interest of the child IMO is the *ONLY THING THAT MATTERS*. 

I think this can be easily addressed.  The stepfather will pay child support until the child turns 18, the mother after that time will pay BACK the stepfather all of the child support.  The child is supported and the mother is punished for her deceit.  If she does not want to pay, then it is up to her for FIND and make the real biological father pay the support.  This will stop any attempts by mothers to pin this on men that had nothing to do with the decision to bring life into the world.  Right now in the name of the child the other innocent person in all of this is being unfairly burdened.  The mother would not be unfairly burdened because it was she that decided to deceive the stepfather.  In addition she would have recourse, which is to make the biological father take on the responsiblity that he took on when he had sex with her.  Again, the child IS supported and the people that are responsible for paying pay.