Replies to '06/19 Finding Alex'

I would ask why society always blames the parents when it comes to these out-of-control kids? I have been dealing with my daughter since she was 13 with doing whatever she wants to do! I have been to the police, the courts, and even Family and CHILDRENS SERVICES and nobody wants to help me. My 15 year od daughter continues to be in trouble with the law, she even had 22 charges in one night including and arson to a car. the police pick her up druk at 3 in the morning and do not even phone me, they drop her off at friends house where she is not permitted to be by her probation. How can people continue to blame parents when the parents beg for help and they have to handle things alone?

 

Juanita

Amherst , NS Canada

I had a bad feeling about this Mom from the get go on the first show. She is trying to act like the concerned Mom, but in fact seems like the "party Mom". I'd love to see Dr Phil really get on to her!

I have always been there for my daughter and I am in the same position as Alex's mom.  I have given her a stable home life.  I have went to counseling with her.  She has run away from home many times.  She has wanted to get pregnant since she was 15 (now 18).  She stole my partner's car and wrote $1,800 in bad checks on his account.  I held her accountable for this and let them take her to jail.  Each time she comes home, I basically count the days she's there.  The last time, I went to wake her up for work and she had climbed out the window.  It's always someone elses fault of why she ran.  She ended up sleeping with a guy who went back to his girlfriend the next day.  Now she's pregnant.  She ran again (while on probation), committed some more violations (underage possession of alcohol), and is now living in a Women's Correctional Facility.  I was able to get her into a local community college's high school diploma program so she will have that for her future.  But as for these bad choices, you can't blame the mother.  I do love her tremendously, even with all that she's done (she even stole jewelry from one of my friends $1,200).  These kids both know right from wrong and "CHOOSE" to make bad/wrong choices.  You can't hold the mother responsible for their choices.

I use to think like you - "it must be the parents fault" until I raised a daughter in a good environment with much love and guidance and did not have the ideal results.

 

I think you may want to put yourself in the shoes of some other occassion when you did the best you could with a person in your life (I am sure there is someone), and they did not do precisely what you thought they should have done.

 

Judging someone when you have not been in their circumstances can be very costly.

 

Not judging them and having compassion ... priceless.