This show has taken our family back 10 years to when our youngest son was wed. We did not have a whole lot of contact with the bride prior to the engagement. Dinner, a weekend trip, telephone conversations, etc. We thought we had lucked out and were getting another wonderful daughter-in-law.
Imagine our surprise when our son showed up on our doorstep and said we were creating problems with his future bride! When questioned, he couldn't give us any examples of what we had done. We all cried and said we would try to do better. My son's future mother-in-law called me and told me that I needed to stay out of their lives and that my son was a grown man and I should not be treating him like an infant. When I called my son to ask what I had done to set of the telephone call he said he did not know. He later called to tell me that his future mother-in-law had denied speaking to me. We went to the wedding, which by the way had a four hour span between the wedding and the reception. During that four hour span a party was held at an aunt's home. We were not invited. My parents were elderly. My mother was scheduled for hip surgery after the wedding. We spent our break sitting in a local fast food restaurant. All the grooms aunts spent there time sitting in a local mall. Our other sons, who were part of the wedding, were fuming when they returned for the reception. Our son told us, at the wedding, how happy he was with his new bride. We congratulated him and wished them well. I told the bride that we would try to be good inlaws. Our two grandchildren were not invited to the wedding. In fact we were told not to bring them. They are and were, at that time, very well behaved children and worshipped their uncle (the groom). They were broken hearted that their uncle did not want them at his wedding. Oh and the brides two nieces were invited to attend the wedding and reception. They were younger than our grandchildren.
Her family payed a small fortune for the wedding. One of our other sons, who was the best man, planned a bachelor party. Before his invitations went out the brides father sent our son tickets to be sold for the bachelor party the brides father was planning. The grooms response when our son questioned him was
"don't feel bad, let the brides father pay for it, if he wants to". I repeatedly asked whether the bride's mother had purchased her dress and what color it was. Repeatedly was told she had not. Two weeks before the wedding I asked our son again. He called later and said "just go get a dress and what is the problem". Told him it was my understanding that it was the bride's mother who was supposed to have first choice of color for her dress. I think they did it on purpose so that I wouldn't be able to find a dress at the last minute. What they were hoping was that we would stay away from the wedding. We were not included in any of the planning. In the receiving line we were put first, even though we were from out of town and didn't know any of the guests (which were mostly the bride's father's business clients). I could go on and on about the various things that happened during the engagement and after the wedding.
They were married several months before our son called and wondered "how come you never come to visit us". My reply was that "we have never been invited". He said you visit my brothers without an invitation. I explained that we didn't feel comfortable driving several hours to drop in on them because of the way things were. He agreed and said we would receive an invitation. We did receive one invitation during the 11 months the marriage survived. He and his wife had a wonderful dinner for the whole family.
How did the marriage end. Our daughter-in-law was having an affair with one of her coworkers, which in all probability started before the wedding. She broke up the coworker's marriage (he had two children).
Her father asked her if she was involved with somebody else and she lied to him and said there was no body else. When our son called us to say they were having problems and that they were going to start counseling (which she never did) we supported him and said anything we can do to help, we will. Later things were not adding up and I said "it sounds like there is someone hiding in the wood pile". Oh Mom, she would never do that to me". A few days later the man called the house and identified himself as a good friend and coworker. He sure was, they had just returned from a "two week business trip" together.
We later learned from her relatives that this was a pattern with our daughter-in-law. She loved the chase but didn't want the committment. We also leared from relatives that she had been in therapy since she was a young child because of her "problems". It would have been nice if that relative had told our son prior to the engagement. It sure would have saved us all a lot of heartache.
I see the bride on the show doing the same thing our daughter-in-law did. She wants to cut all contact with the grooms family. Our daughter-in-law lied repeatedly. She also did the same thing to her brothers wives. One of the brother's wifes told me that her mother had not been invited to a bridal show that our daughter-in-law planned. The brother's wife had the guts I did not have. She told my daughter-in-law that if her mother was not invited, she would not be at the shower either. I just thought, if I kept my mouth shut, everything would eventually work out. I also learned that the bride's mother had an affair with the bride's boyfriend in college. Now do you wonder why the girl is so screwed up! She even broke up the marriage of one of her brothers by repeatedly lying. She started again when her brother remarried. Only this time he was smart enough to listen in on the telephone conversations so he then knew who was lying!
Like I say I could go on and on. This show just brought back all the hurt and anger we went through. It wasn't just me, it was our whole family. This couple needs to call off the wedding for not and the prospective groom needs to get into counseling, alone, so that he can find out why he is letting this bride treat his mother like this. Our son cried and apologized a million times for being so taken in. What is the old saying "love is blind".
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
