Replies to '06/02 Banned From the Wedding'

It strikes me that all of the people in this group are power happy and are only concerned with being on top. Besting each other is not an intelligent thing to do. They most likely all deserve each other.

My family was not totally happy with my getting married at only 21, but we are still at it after 43 years and horrendious medical problems and it is not over yet.  These people need a life. If Dr. Phil helps their relationship I still have to wonder as to how the children will turn out 25 years from now.

I completely agree with you .....it seems to me that everyone on this board has been very quick to judge people they don't even know based on one paragraph. 

 

Who are we to say that the bride to be is the one wrong in this situation?

Who are we to say that the groom to be is spineless and is just listening to his fiance?

Who are we to say that the relationship between the groom to be and his mother was perfect before the bride came along?

 

It really seems that in life people are very quick to judge and this is the perfect example.  I can't believe how narrow minded people could be.  Why is the mother in law right in this situation??? Just because she is the mother?  I know a lot of mothers who are the immature ones in the family.   I think it is very judgmental to tell this couple that their marriage is not going to last.  Who are you to tell anyone that.  What a hurtful thing to say to someone. 

 

Families...... none the less.....no one is perfect so lets try and put ourselves in the couples situation.  Would you want family at your wedding that didn't want to be there or would you want the people that are happy for you and support the both of you at your wedding.  If the grooms family doesn't support who he is marrying why should they be there.  Would you like to look out in the audience and see guests that hate you or that called you a cold hearted #@$%.  I know I wouldn't . 

 

Plus isn't life about love.  Are you not suppose to grow up.... fall in love.....and get married.  Why would the mother say the bride to be took her son away.  She needs to realize that her son is a grown man about to get married and that she has to let go.  She should have faith in how she raised him and have faith that  if this woman makes her son happy then she should be happy for him.  She doesn't have to agree with everything that he does but she should support him and love him no matter what because he is her son. 

 

Lastly why is there the question "Has Michelle manipulated Jay?"  Why does it have to be that she manipulated him?????  I don't get it.  I wish the couple the best of luck ...... and I hope everything works out for them with or without the mother.  Life has to go on.

boy are you right!!!  My in laws started with me as soon as we were married. Some of the things they both said was atrocious, causing me and my husband to fight all the time. Finally after putting up with their big mouths and constantly butting in our buisness for years we moved  far away.  Now we are living in peace for the first time in our marriage and it feels great!!

I too have inlaw issues.  My inlaws have addiction problems and my husband chose not to have his family in his life. I did not.  I always invited them to every holiday dinner, party etc because they were his parents.  I did not l.ike the drama, but for a day it would not kill me.  Recently my 21 year old son found this girl and they have been dating for a year now. He does not hang out with any of his friends anymore.  She told me that "I get what I want and when I want it". Unfortunately he had a child at a young age and this girl would not allow him to see his daughter anymore. She was jealous of a 3 year old and called the child a whore. I have not spoken up to him because I believe that if you tell them the girl is not good for them, they will go there just to prove the parent wrong. So, I kept my mouth shut until one night at 3:30 am, she came into my home drunk, woke up our house, while she woke up my son beating on him screaming and yelling at him. He was sound asleep and she just walked in our house. I told him at that point that I did not want this oging on in our home. Fastforward, He moved inot her mothers house with her and I have not spoken to him since. He has disowned his entire family. The girl told him his family or her.  He chose her. Not all mothers are bad and I was not like the mother on TV.  I just pray every day that he will not want to be abused anymore and will knock on our door for the Holidays. He is lost right now and I pray he finds his way home.

I agree! We don't know all the issues... some mother-in-laws can play the victim and don't tell the whole story. Sometimes you have to set boundaries like Dr. Phil said. I don't think that anyone's mother should be banned from a wedding.. that is sad. It is their child's wedding day and they should get to experience it. But I also think the mother-in-law needs to back off once they are married now. She is not the only woman in his life... she plays a different role now; he has a wife! A family of his own! She is not the most important person anymore... his wife and family are!! She needs to let her son go and stop acting like she is the wife! I think the husband needs to step it up and try and solve the problems between the 2 without taking sides. He needs to explain to the mother why she is wrong and explain to his wife why she is wrong. This is a never ending battle... all mother-in-laws have issues with their new in-laws!