Replies to 'Co-Parenting'

I too also had to collect a large amount of money from my ex-husband.  We were married for 10 years and had adopted a little girl.  He felt that if he no longer wanted to see her and since she was not her real father that he should not have to pay child support.  It took me two years to finally track him down.  

I live in Tulsa, OK where we have what is called the Rocket docket.  I feel every county/state should have this system.  (I tried going throught the state to collect my child support but they told me that if I was not receving any money from the state that I was not a priority.)  So, I hired an attorney and had the ex served with papers to show up in court.  He pled not guilty so it had to be set for trial.  Withing 30 days, we were back in front of the jude.  Of course I had all my documentaiotn and could prove that he did owe me back child support.  The judge haned down a 6 month defered sentence and sat him up on a payment plan to pay his child support.  This was done straight from his payroll check of the employer that he worked for.  Within 30 days, I was receiving checks from his place of work.  Every 3 months we have to go back before the judge.  If he is not making payments he would go to jail.  I was holding $500.00 in day care receipts and I showed up for court and not him.  (He thought that because his employer was submitting payment it was ok not to show.)  Since he did not show up and he was not paying the daycare and medical that was due, the Judge order a warrant for his arreast and fined him $500.00.  They picked him up at his place of employment and he had to sit in jail until the total amount of back child support was paid in full. 

I think this is BAD advice. I went through the "system" as a child and to make long story short, it destroyed my relationship with my father and I still resent my mother for it.  The fact that you mentioned "mommy" thing makes me feel like you could be acting out of anger or hurt. My wife was really angry when her daughter did this with her X's new wife.  I know with my kids it would hurt too. 

Anyway I am 100% in agreement that every parent should support their children in all ways, not just financially, but the current system in both Canada and the US is riddled with issues and the amounts are absurd at times. I would talk to him about it (if it all possible to be civil).  There are plenty of ways for him to help support the kids too. You can have auto withdraw and stuff done in your account or he can pay in other ways too. 

Anyway going into the system is bad news period.  Also getting put in jail for owing money, is a real injustice anyway. I cannot believe someone hasn't torn that up. There isn't supposed to be debter prison in the US or Canada, but that is exactly what that is. It's incredibly bad.