Replies to '06/19 Finding Alex'

I am sorry that I agree, Mom is/was the problem; Alex has no self esteem, no respect for herself or her mother and it stems from the mother who seems to me very much like a bar/man hopping waste.

Teenage daughters are the toughest to deal with during the teenaging with the best of parents.

I was warden, disciplinarian, never their friend.  They had rules and guidelines that started very

early on and there is a whole issue about becoming a woman, and the first person they challenge

is their mother. 

Alex's mother shows very flat affect, no emotion, no nothing on both shows.  I sure wish that Dr.

Phil would have taken her to task about "the lawsuit" etc.  Alex needs to be far far away from her

mother for a very long time.  And her mother needs to learn how to parent successfully for her

other children.  Children always come first!  I now have had the pleasure of my oldest daughter

calling and apologizing for "everything she had done as a teenager" and she is a wonderful

mother with wonderful kids.  Her 14 year old son had snuck out his window one night to go

play paintball in the park.  My son also called to apologize for "anything he might have done

as a toddler" and sent us a picture of his 4 year old son bathed in flour and syrup and an unholy

mix of same in a bowl.  My grandson was trying to make pancakes.

What worked for us was open communication and a time for conversation with no punishment

involved.  I came home from work one day and our son was digging a hole in the garden and

told me he thought he would get a headstart on his grave because I would probably make

a duplicate shortly.  He had been suspended from highschool for smoking with his buddies.

I was laughing so hard, I forgot to hand out a little discipline.

Kids want to do the right thing, they need to have models for that; they need guidelines and

they will always push their boundaries, they are checking to see if we as parents are paying

attention!  In teenagers, peer pressure is an awesome problem and I explained to all 3

children that it was difficult to be a zebra in a herd of sheep, and I flat was not raising any

sheep.  That has now become a second generation mantra for our grandkids courtesy of

their parents.  Parenting is the most difficult job on the planet and not to be taken lightly

ever!

Just sayin'

Scarlett