Replies to 'The Meaning of "Family"'

It must be very hurtful to have your sister mimic you and say things like “get over it,” etc. From your perspective, your sister is a positive, confident woman, but I want you to think about the possibility that she might simply be putting on that act for the outside world. Inside, she is only human like the rest of us!
Your husband’s actions must have been devastating, and it is understandable that you are having a hard time. You probably have good days and bad days. I highly urge you to seek professional help for yourself; confiding in a professional would help you learn to heal, to move forward, and begin living life differently. You said that HE gave you the confidence to get your license. Perhaps there were actions he took or things that he said to encourage you, but you are the one who actually did that for yourself. Don’t give him more credit than he is due.
I’m going to share a personal experience. When my ex husband and I separated, I was devastated. I cried and complained to my sister, to close friends- even to people I didn’t know- just anyone who would listen. As time went on, I noticed a ‘different’ look in their faces when I would talk. It became obvious that they didn’t want to hear it anymore; they wanted me to heal, to move on. I wanted that, too- at least, I thought I did- but I was stuck. I had become comfortable in the role of the victim. I was totally victimized by my ex, just like you have been- and I got stuck in that role. It was my convenient excuse for everything. (It has taken me many, many years to recognize and to admit this!) I could have become a prisoner to my resentment and my victim hood. But what kind of example would that set for my children? What kind of mother- what kind of person, for that matter- allows herself to continue to be victimized? The best thing that I ever did was to seek therapy for myself. I encourage you to do this, too. You have to think of it as the best gift you could ever give to yourself, and the best gift that you could ever give to your children, too. Having a happy, confident mother creates happy, confident children.
You said that your sister offers rides but then bitches about it. Now hold up a mirror: are there things that you complain about, while at the same time, you do nothing to change them? I urge you to take a good look at your own thoughts and actions, you are keeping yourself tied to the role of a victim. You can admit that you aren’t the strongest person, but do you have the desire to be strong, the desire to create change and attain happiness? Your sister’s words and actions are hurtful, but they come from a place that is well-meaning; at this point, she doesn’t know what she can say or do that will encourage change in you. You have to WANT the pain to stop, you have to WANT to create change. Do you want that for yourself, for your children?
I hope that I don’t sound to harsh. I have personal experience similar to yours and I’m sharing it because I wish that someone shared the same advice with me at that time. I honestly don’t know if I would have been receptive; I might have become defensive and even more of a victim, but I also might not have reacted that way. Again, seeking professional help is the best thing you could do for yourself. I wish you the very best, you do deserve it!