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Replies to 'Coping with Stress'
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October 8, 2005, 9:23 am PDT
 Quote From: myplace Hello everyone, this is my first time to post a message here. Stress is all to common to many people on a daily basis. I would count myself within that "many". Seems that I can talk all day about everyone else's stress but am not sure at all how to deal with my own. I have tried meditating, medicine, visualization (I am very good at this one), etc. and it continues. I am 44 years old and I have two children my son is 25 and my daughter is 18, and I am a grandma. I raised both my kids on my own because I had not my son and I may be dead today. I work as a CNA at a local nursing home, and I am a full time student (masters of social work). I was to be married 4 years this last May but he died in my arms that March. I was devastated and had no clue what to do. That is when I went back to school and I graduated last May with my bachelor of social work. The last 3 years I have resided with my parents for the most part to help take care of my parents who are ill (mom had diabetes and kidney disease, and dad has cancer), and to focus on my education (I also worked full time). Living with you parents at my age is rough on a good day but my mom who is very capable of doing most everything has seen fit to think she cannot, not even the smallest matters. Mom is one of those people who are miserable and wants everyone to miserable with her. My father is a compulsive gambler and stays away a lot of the time (I personally think it's to have some peace). My mother said to me just yesterday that she know whats wrong with me, she said that I have Internal and External Chaos................hmmmmmm is there such a thing???? I think most of my stress and chaos comes from her. Don't get me wrong I do love my mom I just don't like her most of the time. She is belittling, and horrid on a persons self-esteem. I guess maybe I am writing to vent. Julie You may be stuck in a cycle because you have not allowed yourself to grieve and get over your husband's death. It sounds like you immediately got busy by going back to school and life has taken over ever since. Now, events with your parents may be stirring the pot, and bringing up responses to them that were never resolved at an earlier time in your life. I would look into grief counseling, and do some personal work involving your losses incurred with the death of your husband first. I know you never actually married, but he was your husband none-the-less. Then tackle your relationship with your parents. You may have to find a way to separate yourself from them as they are very demanding. It's not selfish to care for yourself and give yourself the time to take back your strength and power, you are more effective in the world when you are whole. |
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