Replies to '06/13 Teacher Sex Scandal, Part 2'

It is probably odd that I would feel Joelle to be innocent.  I have three children, but two are just 20 months apart.  The first is a good bit older, hence my problem...or should I say, the problem of the younger two.  Ironic, but my older daughter is a teacher.  She met a very nice(I thought) young man at her 21 birthday party...they were attending the same college, and he came along with one of her friends.  My son, was then 4, my younger girl 5...and that night began a 51/2 year relationship...one both my husband and I blessed..They were engaged, we had all of the parties, then, the fairy tale wedding.  He seemed to love my younger ones, and they him.  My older daughter and I were ascloseasthis...until...at the age of ten my son told me of acts of oral sodomy performed by him, in "games" with my son-in-law...from the time that he was 5 years old!  I brought him to a therapist...immediately...he wanted to speak to my younger daughter, so I brought her in the following day.  He had done the same to her....it was a nightmare!  We called the police, my children were interviewed...by mutiple ageancies.....my son-in-law WAS arrested, but the case was dropped after 6 months in limbo, for lack of evidence sufficient for trial.  My older daughter stood by him, hence, we have not had any contact in 7 years....a reliable third party informed me that she has two little girls...GREAT!  Now, my younger ones are 17 and 19...doing better after a lot of therapy, and a a lot of crying.  Her betrayal was the worst...as they both adored her...had to have killed them when she called them "deranged liars".  What she called me, as I probably" put them up to it."..well, I'll never fully recover.  Why would I do that?  Why would they lie at that age?  Yet, the case could not go foreward, so he is innocent in the eyes of the law.  Had a student told this exact situation to my daughter, in her capacity as a teacher, she would have been mandated to report...as teachers are mandated reporters.  Would you trust her to teach your young children?  Would you trust her to report an act of sexual abuse if a child were to tell her?  Well, since no one knows, she's still this icon of an educator.  If you think so little of your own siblings, what do you think of your students?  Not superficially, but deep inside, you've got to have a dark hole in your spirit to spit on your family...and these were very young children.  So the justice in criminal court is often not to be had.

He was so good at what he did, there were no signs, never took them out alone...never was alone in the house with them...but he was in the family room...when I made dinner, took a shower...he knew my every move...and the moves of our family.  But he was /is a true pedophile.  Joelle was so opened, too opened...he'd never be that stupid, or careless. He never asked to bring them to his home, say to pick up something...it would have red flagged his intent...or fortified the case. 

I believe due to the recanting, which did NOT occur in our situation, the "open"ness of her behavior...she's innocent.  Pedophiles, unless they are the stage four killer/rapist/kidnappers, are not carless...too smart, cunning...Joelle was neither.  Maybe I feel she is innocent because I have had this first hand, long term relationship with a pedophile...and didn't suspect a thing...they don't give clues. Joelle was just too opened, I say immature,  naive, maybe a bit childish...but a pedophile.I don't think so...again, operative word, think.

From what I know, these real ones are never careless, far from naive and cover their tracks very well.  They also take time to evaluate and manipulate...grooming is the skill, and it begins with the parents..you win trust, they show you love, acceptance...then they go in for the kill...after they set the stage.  If she did it, it's very atypical of how child abusers conduct themselves.

Wish I didn't have this great knowledge, but since I do, maybe it will just add some information to the discussion.