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Replies to '07/28 A Husband's Shocking Confessions'
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November 18, 2007, 6:53 pm PST
 Quote From: ladyteal28 I say a BIG NO to staying with a man who is a cheater. I am watching my best friend go through hell. She found out this summer that her husband of over 34 years has been cheating on her for years and years and years. He used ALL his vacation time for the year to go and meet women he met online. He is also a big time porn lover. For years I have ignored his remarks about a 3some.... now I actualy hate this man. And the pain his wife and grown kids are going through breaks my heart. He even had the nerve to tell my best friend that he never really loved her..... I see a women who had worked all her life for her husband and how broken he has made her. I am always here for her and I tell her that all the time. I listen and give her a shoulder to cry on and tell her she was the best wife ever, and she was. He just lost the best thing in his life. They are now getting a divorce and selling their home that they both worked soooo hard to have. My B.F. has worked this one job for years and years and it is slowly taking everything out of her. She hs worked and worked tons of overtime just to keep their head about water while he just continues to add more and more debt with his endless spending, all for himself. He has opened more credit cards in his name and run them up too....now she is looking at going bankrupt...
To tell you the truth there isn't one man in the world worth giving up your heart too. I have been married for almost 40 years to a very cold, unaffectionate man....who I have BEGGED for us 'both' to get help. No he can't be bothered. He only cares about the kids, and grandkids and spends his retirement in either front of a t.v. or a computer screen. We retired to travel...and here we sit...day after day. How sad! I would run the other way, if I knew then what I know now. Life is hard enough....without these selfish men.
I understand what you are saying. It is so hard to see your friends and loved one hurt by those who are supposed to love them too.
I am taking my life back! I am working on rebuilding my life and myself. I am weeding out the bad and trying fo bring the good in my life. The things that I love!! I have totally changed my career to one that will be more in line with what I want to do in the coming years. I stop and smell the roses.
How about you start thinking about what you love. Dancing, reading, whatever.......and look for ways to experience those things. Maybe a dance class or a reading club. Let him sit in front of the tv. YOU DON"T HAVE TO DO WHAT HE DOES!!! Make the rest of your life a happy experience!
You don't have to travel to another place to find fun and excitement.
I wish you a full and happy year to come!!! Mgrlady |
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November 19, 2007, 10:50 am PST
Quote From: ladyteal28 I say a BIG NO to staying with a man who is a cheater. I am watching my best friend go through hell. She found out this summer that her husband of over 34 years has been cheating on her for years and years and years. He used ALL his vacation time for the year to go and meet women he met online. He is also a big time porn lover. For years I have ignored his remarks about a 3some.... now I actualy hate this man. And the pain his wife and grown kids are going through breaks my heart. He even had the nerve to tell my best friend that he never really loved her..... I see a women who had worked all her life for her husband and how broken he has made her. I am always here for her and I tell her that all the time. I listen and give her a shoulder to cry on and tell her she was the best wife ever, and she was. He just lost the best thing in his life. They are now getting a divorce and selling their home that they both worked soooo hard to have. My B.F. has worked this one job for years and years and it is slowly taking everything out of her. She hs worked and worked tons of overtime just to keep their head about water while he just continues to add more and more debt with his endless spending, all for himself. He has opened more credit cards in his name and run them up too....now she is looking at going bankrupt...
To tell you the truth there isn't one man in the world worth giving up your heart too. I have been married for almost 40 years to a very cold, unaffectionate man....who I have BEGGED for us 'both' to get help. No he can't be bothered. He only cares about the kids, and grandkids and spends his retirement in either front of a t.v. or a computer screen. We retired to travel...and here we sit...day after day. How sad! I would run the other way, if I knew then what I know now. Life is hard enough....without these selfish men.
I won't pretend to understand all you've experienced and I think what you've experienced is terrible if it is as you describe, but please don't take out your hard life and experiences out on all men and don't poison other women into thinking no man is good enough for them. We aren't all bad. There are many of us who love our wives and children dearly. I've been with my wife for 25 years and I've never cheated on her, got drunk, hit her or our kids, mentally abused her, or was a couch potato. I'm no exception to your "rule" about men and nor do I consider myself exceptional either. I'm simply a decent man who loves his wife and kids to die for them at moment if I had to. I honestly know many other such similar men. Your headline alone that ALL Men are the same in that they are selfish greatly saddened me. I would never stereotype you as a bitter frustrated woman simply because of your attitude which is based upon your terrible experience and, sadly, one that you tolerated for 40 years according to your post. That would be presumptuous of me and stupid. You should not have and shouldn't continue to put up with a loveless marriage. You do have to take some responsibility for your empty marriage in spite of all your efforts to turn it around which is very admirable. As Dr. Phil often says, "We teach people how to treat us." Somewhere along those 40 years you let it be known to your husband that it was okay for him to treat you like he did even if only by staying with him that long. Ironically, my own wife treated me much the way your described your husband in some areas. She became a big shot business woman and often looked at me as a piece of furniture in the house and often poked fun of my career as "You are only a teacher", but I drew a line in the sand after a number of years went by that I wouldn't put up with it anymore. I knew she loved me and I knew she was my soulmate, but we had to reach of point of mutual respect or call it quits. She loved me enough to make a sincere change and I loved her enough to never hold it over her head her past behavior. We recovered beautifully from that dark period, but I knew it was as much my fault as hers for simply allowing it to continue as long as it did. I hated putting our marriage on the line like I did, but I felt forced to it and it benefitted no one by continuing an empty marriage. I guess my point is that you seem more angry at yourself for putting up with a cold husband for 40 years and seeing your friends go through a lot makes you bitter against all men; I understand that, but we aren't all this way in spite of your bad experiences. You women have caused your fair share of heartache too, but I would never judge "ALL" women by your bitterness or by the other horrible women that are out there. We are all individuals and should be judged and viewed as such. I wish you the best and I sincerely hope you find a way out of your tragically cold marriage and see better days ahead for your friends. I know it must hurt you to see them suffer as much or worse than you. You must be a loving and caring friend to feel so much for them; just don't let your anger and bitterness poison your friends' futures that there is no man out there worthy of them. With Respect and Prayers for you, Steve |
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November 19, 2007, 7:48 pm PST
Quote From: ladyteal28 I say a BIG NO to staying with a man who is a cheater. I am watching my best friend go through hell. She found out this summer that her husband of over 34 years has been cheating on her for years and years and years. He used ALL his vacation time for the year to go and meet women he met online. He is also a big time porn lover. For years I have ignored his remarks about a 3some.... now I actualy hate this man. And the pain his wife and grown kids are going through breaks my heart. He even had the nerve to tell my best friend that he never really loved her..... I see a women who had worked all her life for her husband and how broken he has made her. I am always here for her and I tell her that all the time. I listen and give her a shoulder to cry on and tell her she was the best wife ever, and she was. He just lost the best thing in his life. They are now getting a divorce and selling their home that they both worked soooo hard to have. My B.F. has worked this one job for years and years and it is slowly taking everything out of her. She hs worked and worked tons of overtime just to keep their head about water while he just continues to add more and more debt with his endless spending, all for himself. He has opened more credit cards in his name and run them up too....now she is looking at going bankrupt...
To tell you the truth there isn't one man in the world worth giving up your heart too. I have been married for almost 40 years to a very cold, unaffectionate man....who I have BEGGED for us 'both' to get help. No he can't be bothered. He only cares about the kids, and grandkids and spends his retirement in either front of a t.v. or a computer screen. We retired to travel...and here we sit...day after day. How sad! I would run the other way, if I knew then what I know now. Life is hard enough....without these selfish men.
I totally agree with everything you are saying girlfriend. Men are selfish self-centered childish jerks. Plain and simple truth. Its always all about them. Im better off with out them. Would rather be alone then to be with someone. |
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November 19, 2007, 8:12 pm PST
Quote From: ladyteal28 I say a BIG NO to staying with a man who is a cheater. I am watching my best friend go through hell. She found out this summer that her husband of over 34 years has been cheating on her for years and years and years. He used ALL his vacation time for the year to go and meet women he met online. He is also a big time porn lover. For years I have ignored his remarks about a 3some.... now I actualy hate this man. And the pain his wife and grown kids are going through breaks my heart. He even had the nerve to tell my best friend that he never really loved her..... I see a women who had worked all her life for her husband and how broken he has made her. I am always here for her and I tell her that all the time. I listen and give her a shoulder to cry on and tell her she was the best wife ever, and she was. He just lost the best thing in his life. They are now getting a divorce and selling their home that they both worked soooo hard to have. My B.F. has worked this one job for years and years and it is slowly taking everything out of her. She hs worked and worked tons of overtime just to keep their head about water while he just continues to add more and more debt with his endless spending, all for himself. He has opened more credit cards in his name and run them up too....now she is looking at going bankrupt...
To tell you the truth there isn't one man in the world worth giving up your heart too. I have been married for almost 40 years to a very cold, unaffectionate man....who I have BEGGED for us 'both' to get help. No he can't be bothered. He only cares about the kids, and grandkids and spends his retirement in either front of a t.v. or a computer screen. We retired to travel...and here we sit...day after day. How sad! I would run the other way, if I knew then what I know now. Life is hard enough....without these selfish men.
I'll tell you this! I use to think the same thing. I was raised to think men are worthless and told that everyday and it is something I struggle with constantly to break that thought process, but it can change. It was only be the grace of God that everyone in my famiy has been divorced two times each, at least and I have been married over ten years. With Christ, all things are possible. There is a God who knows your pain and sorrow and heartache and wants to bless you and can change your husband. My husband was the coldest, meanest and most vicious person I have ever met, he use to cuss me out and call me names, was physically abusive and it has been way over a year and although we have our disagreements, he would never curse at me, he is loving, affectionate, takes care of our children, does basically anything I ask him to and even when I don't ask he'll run to the store and grab me a Starbucks, cook dinner, watch our children, and goes to church faithfully while bringing his bible and studying it, attending church marriage seminars, etc. I owe it all to the Lord, who is good and faithful to keep his promises. I didn't understand all the suffering then, I am thankful for it now. I can now help others and tell them my story. I don't care how long you have been married, God can change any circumstance. |
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November 27, 2007, 4:35 pm PST
Quote From: ladyteal28 I say a BIG NO to staying with a man who is a cheater. I am watching my best friend go through hell. She found out this summer that her husband of over 34 years has been cheating on her for years and years and years. He used ALL his vacation time for the year to go and meet women he met online. He is also a big time porn lover. For years I have ignored his remarks about a 3some.... now I actualy hate this man. And the pain his wife and grown kids are going through breaks my heart. He even had the nerve to tell my best friend that he never really loved her..... I see a women who had worked all her life for her husband and how broken he has made her. I am always here for her and I tell her that all the time. I listen and give her a shoulder to cry on and tell her she was the best wife ever, and she was. He just lost the best thing in his life. They are now getting a divorce and selling their home that they both worked soooo hard to have. My B.F. has worked this one job for years and years and it is slowly taking everything out of her. She hs worked and worked tons of overtime just to keep their head about water while he just continues to add more and more debt with his endless spending, all for himself. He has opened more credit cards in his name and run them up too....now she is looking at going bankrupt...
To tell you the truth there isn't one man in the world worth giving up your heart too. I have been married for almost 40 years to a very cold, unaffectionate man....who I have BEGGED for us 'both' to get help. No he can't be bothered. He only cares about the kids, and grandkids and spends his retirement in either front of a t.v. or a computer screen. We retired to travel...and here we sit...day after day. How sad! I would run the other way, if I knew then what I know now. Life is hard enough....without these selfish men.
Why are you still wasting your time? You still have years to enjoy yourself. I work with a sixty year old woman who lives in misery every day of her life with an alcoholic husband and we all wonder why? If it is a money issue would you not rather be broke and happy than miserable and wealthy? |
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