Hi Shayna,
I do think it is very serious when anyone and especially someone that lives in the same home as you and or your children can be so messed up. The only way you can protect yourself is to know what you are up against. I don't mean mistrust someone for no reason, but if you see things that just don't add up, then you need to check it out. I think we all have an inner self that tells us right from wrong and we know when something smells bad, it usually needs to be thrown out. (Ahhh....Dr. Phyl euphemism)
When you see the first sign that something is wrong, then you start being on guard and put the wheels in motion to protect yourself. If you need help, then talk to someone you can trust such as a family member, an attorney or your minister. I personally feel Michelle probably did ignore some of the signs in the beginning, but this guy is really really good at deception. Only a very sick, mentally ill person can pull this off with such candid behavior. It's like he has split personalities. The husband and father is loving, caring and a good provider and that's what Michelle has seen. When he steps outside of that zone, he becomes the other "Wade", the callous, deceiving, vicious, explosive and dangerous person. Michelle does not know this person and until recently did not know that person existed. Maybe she didn't have any warning signs, maybe she did and didn't take them serious in the beginning, I don't know. This man is not the "norm". Usually, I believe you can see the signs that something is not right and you act on it early, before it gets to the point of elusion.
If the warning signs are there, then check cell phones, emails, internet sites (cookies & history), miles on vehicle, and occasionally call at work to see if he/she is really at work. Check credit card statements, bank statements or records, property tax records (see if he/she has other property), clothing, etc. If a person lies to you, that's not their only sin; somewhere there's more. You protect yourself by gettting out of the enviroment first and if it's fixable, then fix it in a "safe" zone, with counseling, but never alone.
If you are ever in a relationship where there is fear, get out of it. I don't care how far you have to go, get away from him/her. If you are afraid of a person, then that person is angry and anger has killed many people.
Hope this helps!
Gypsy
