Replies to '07/28 A Husband's Shocking Confessions'

I wasn't even married a week when I found out my husband had been married two times prior to our marriage.  He told me he had been married before but I ASSUMED it had only been once before we got married.  (I have to disclose that we knew each other three months prior to getting married.)  It broke my heart to find this out, mainly because I am in a marriage "till death do us part".  I had not been married previously  but was in several relatinships, both good and bad without the commitment of marriage. 

Marriage is hard.  It takes a lot of work from boh parties and,  I have to say, my husband failed at 2 marriages prior to our marriage, but he has worked so hard to make this one work , and it has. 

We just celebrated our 9 year anniversary...none of our closest friends and relatives thought we would make it even 2 years! We have been thru hell and back financially.....that has got to be the worst strain in a marriage, but we always have believed that as long as we have each other (and our son) and keep working at everything together, we will be o.k.  After losing our first home to foreclosure, we are now in the process of buying a new home that all of us are happy about. 

For almost 7 years, I was the sole supporter in our family.  My husband stayed home with our son until he went to kindergarten and it was the best thing that fo all of us.....no day care expense, no illnesses for our son, and just a peace of mind or all of us, knowing that our son had the best care possible with one parent home with him all day long.  I have alot of regrets, not being able to be home with my son during his early years, but am able to "make up" for that now  After being laid off from my last place of employment, my husband has become the sole-supporterer of our famiy and, just by coincidence, has excelled in his current employment where he began as entry-level and is now managing. I no longer have to commute to work (and spend a tremedous amount of money on gas. in addition to supporting or family) and am a "stay-at-home-mom".  By the way, I became a mom at 39 years old.  I am currently pursuing a career that I have thought about doing for many years, and will finally accomplish, after going back to school on-line, one year from now.  I will be able to work from home and still be able to make a  reasonable amount of income to help support our family and no longer have to be the sole-supporter in our household. 

So, what I am trying to say is that marriage takes alot of work and alot of faith.  I have prayed for guidance from Day 1 because I know I'm not perfect and neither is my husband.....we have to accept each other's faults and learn to deal with it. We had so many strikes going against us, we met and married within 3 months, prior history and "baggage" from it that was hurtful, and a rocky start.....but we made it.  If you commit yourself to a relationship, you have to work at it to make it work! 

I will end this with what I strongly believe has been helpful in our marriage.  I do not tolerate violence and I do not tolerate betrayal.  In spite of a person's past history, it can be overcome with alot of work from both parties.