I truly appreciate your sympathy for what my three sons and I have been through. I am stuck in the "anger stage" of the grieving process and am not sure if I will ever progress. My greatest hope is that my ex-husband and his father are now burning in the ninth realm of hell. My ex-husband's father was killed in a car accident the day after my ex died. He knew about the death because I called him to tell him even though he had always hated me with a passion. I knew he didn't hate "me"...he would have hated anyone who took his only child away from him.
My ex and I both belong to the Living Bank (a great organization for those interested...their URL is http://www.livingbank.org) so when the funeral home picked up the body, we never saw it again. There was a memorial but no burial. There was absolutely NO reason for his father to fly to Houston. He would not have been able to see his son and there was no funeral planned. The only reason he came was to take my three boys away from me. Our Blessed Lord decided that was not going to happen and took care of the problem. I will believe that forever.
I'm not sure that I could actually be considered co-dependent by the strict definition of the term; however, I will agree that I stayed WAY longer than I should have. The first time I left him, the boys were 2, 4, and 6. Had I divorced him then and not allowed visitation rights to him, the boys' behavior may have been different. At least they would never have been subjected to finding their father naked and dead on the floor.
However; I'm sure you've heard the saying "Hindsight is always 20--20". There are so many things I would change in the past had I known what the eventual outcome would be but that is not within my power. At this point, I just trust in Our Lord to guide me along the right path and do what I can to be a good influence for my three sons and twin grandsons.
Thanks again!
Sheila
