Replies to '06/24 Banned from the Wedding, Part 2'

Quote From: something2say

I definitely agree that this DIL is a spoiled brat.  The MIL may have done some things that breached boundaries, but I think that the son could have assertively established boundaries and still insured that his mother was respected by him and his new bride.  Apparently, he is the product of an overbearing mother because he has chosen an overbearing wife and is sadly stuck in the middle.  So if change is dependent on him standing up and being "a man," nobody hold your breath, probably not gonna happen.  I think that it is going to be impossible for the MIL to please the bratty DIL at this point.  Who could blame her if she just bowed out and let them have their way, but it is a show of love for her son that she's willing to let the DIL win in order to have a relationship with him.  My God, I couldn't believe that the DIL cut up flowers that were sent as acknowledgement of their wedding.  It is clear that anything the MIL does will be perceived negatively from this point on.  The DIL is so bratty that she even has to have an apology the way she wants it.  If the MIL says she's sorry if they took something she said wrong, then the DIL says she just needs to say sorry without making excuses.  If she just says she's sorry (as in part two), then she's not sincere.  It is clear that the MIL can not win with this girl.  I think that the DIL is guilty of everything that she has accused the MIL of but takes no responsibility for her part.  The MIL is right when she says that her son is now controlled by his wife.  I mean he doesn't have an original thought in his head, it's all echoes of his wife's thoughts.  I think that the DIL is twisted when she makes the accusation that the mother has a sick relationship with her son because the MIL told him to tell the DIL that he loves his mother.  I'd like to know the context of that conversation, because this DIL appears to have some evil and warped perceptions.  If the MIL has done something to her son besides breaching boundaries (which is normal to a degree), then he needs to admit that, otherwise his wife just comes off as a picky, bratty, drama queen.  I have a mother who is annoying as can be when it comes to mine and my sister's marriages and families, but no matter what I have to respect her and would never say some of the things that this girl has to her or my mother in law and neither would my husband.  We've just make the decision to establish boundaries in those extended family relationships without hurting anybody, confronting anybody, or disrespecting anybody.  Because you really can't control other people and how they behave, you can only control yourself.  I used to think that I could only have a relationship with my mother if she behaved a certain way, but realized after some time that she is who she is and I can't change that, so I have to accept her, ignore her a lot, and get on with it.  DIL and son really need to grasp this concept regarding his mother.