Replies to 'Addiction Support'

"He is truely a functional alcoholic in that he gets up every morning goes to work and pulls down 6 figures. He only drinks at night after work and he's not violent or abusive in the physical sense of the word. He can be verbal at times but general he keeps to himself in true alcoholic fashion"

Is it wrong for me to not want him to drink like that? I feel so confused and lost.

Start of the story-

husband always drank and it just seems like it was getting worse and worse. Couldn't go anywhere without him stopping in at the mini mart to get and "energy drink". One night while we were having poker night at the house, he and the neighbor both drunk out of their minds decided to go to the mini mart for "energy drinks" even though there was a whole cooler of beers on the back porch. Well, they took our truck and flew out of here (after hitting his work van trying to get out of the driveway). They flew down the street where the road curves and missed the turn. He hit a fire hydrate and tore it out of the ground. Dummy decides to flee the scene and drive back home. Parked the truck, neighbor went home and he went to bed leaving me downstairs with all the guests. Eventually the cops showed up and he lied and said it wasn't him and the truck was stolen. They didn't have enough evidence to press charges so they were dropped. I threatened if he didn't quit drinking the kids (ages 6 and 8) and I were out of there. He went to 2 AA meetings and said they weren't for him. I thought he was done drinking and then found out that he stops at the mini mart on his way home from work and downs a couple of beers. This has been going on for a couple of years now. Every time I even ask it goes into a full blown fight that he has to have his drinks to deal with stress from work. Or finding an excuse to leave the house for a while on the weekend so he can sneak a few drinks in. I swear he had a few before our 8 yr old nephews bday party last week.

I don't know what to do. Am I wrong for not wanting him to drink like that? I don't want my kids to grow up around that even though they don't realize what is going on yet. I just feel so hurt and depressed.

I don't mind the social drinking. That doesn't bother me at all-in fact I enjoy it as well. It's when he goes overboard and then starts saying mean hateful things makes me feel like everything is my fault.

Please help!

PS-just started reading the book Codependent No More hoping this will help me as well and I have an appointment with a therapist.