Replies to '12/06 Desperate to Be a Mom'

Tonya and Keith need to get a divorce. Bottom line. They made an agreement before they got married not to have children. Now she wants one, he doesn't. That is a dealbreaker. If having a child is more important to her than saving an already established marriage, they need to call it quits, because if he gives in and has a child to make her happy, it will be unfair to him. If she does without a child for his sake, she'll be miserable.

My husband and I also agreed that we did not want children, and I have taken steps to ensure that it doesn't happen. We are happy with that decision, but should we both decide later on that we want a child, which is not likely, we are open to adoption. I don't know why more people don't choose adoption. I get called selfish and get strange looks all the time when I tell people I don't want kids. How is it selfish to know you won't be a good parent, and take steps to keep it from happening? Can't be any more selfish than having to have your own DNA as opposed to adopting a child that is already here and will have to otherwise grow up in the foster care system. There are selfish reasons for having kids as well as not having them.