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Replies to '12/07 A Killer Among Us'
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December 6, 2007, 9:55 am PST
 Quote From: y1lriley I have lived with an abusive man for the past seven years. I fought back and I have had him arrested twice. It wasn't until the last time he was arrested that he finally got the help he needed. Many states have domestic abuse laws however, some of them are a joke. In the state of Florida it is not left up to the woman to choose whether the abuser is prosecuted it is up to the state attorney. Thank God. My husband was forced to go to 6 months of anger management and alcohol abuse classes. Since then we have not had but two arguments in which he used some of the skills he learned to difuse the situation. He has changed in so many ways for the better. I say to you that you need to keep your head up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and make a plan to make things better for yourself. You gained your life back when you divorced this man, now take control and take it one day at a time. You have a bright future all you have to do is look ahead and not look back. If you are a spiritual person pray, pray and pray. God will answer your prayers and things will get better. Get out of the pity party. You have come this far and you can go even farther. You cannot merely exist. You have to take charge. If you don't he is still winning. Thanks for the advice, I'm sure you mean well, but I am definitely not in a "pity party". If I were, I would still be in my marriage, feeling sorry for myself, fearing daily for my safety and my life. The facts of my life now are what they are. I live from paycheck to paycheck. I have never had to do that before, but I am doing it. I know I will never retire; that money is gone. I live in fear I will lose a place to live, but I cope with that and function. God help me if there is an emergency becauce there is no money to cover one; that is where the prayer comes in. I can't allow myself the luxury of sitting down and adding up how much debt I am in because I know that would send me into a panic I might not recover from. I just write the checks as I can each month and keep putting one foot in front of the other. To stay out of bankruptcy and pay my bills, I had to relocate to another state; I am living in a city where I literally know no one. I am hundreds of miles from my family. That's isolation. And no, I haven't built a "new life" in the six months I've been here. I AM in survival mode still. But PITY? No. I pity the women who don't get out and still fear for their lives. Don't tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself, because I don't. I'm proud I got out; the facts of my current situation are just hard ones. I am lucky and blessed I am alive no matter how bad everything else is. |
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