Quote From: miez101I have to agree.People just can not understand that my husband and me deceided not to have children.That was one of the first things we talked about.We have been together for 10 years now,married 8.I never had any desire for children and I am 35 now.I always say never say never,but I would not put my husband through it just because I decide to change my mind.
Whats worse for us are all the people who are trying to pressure us in to having kids for their selfish reasons.I have to constantly explain myself why I don't want to have any children.There are so many kids out there being mistreated.Isn't it better to say I don't want any,than to give in to everybody and than mistreat my kid or worse?
I think a child has a much happier childhood if both partners decided they wanted a kid and not just one of them and the other got pressured into it.
Sounds like you're very clear about what you want and desire for your family, so any pressure you recieve should be easy to brush off, yes?
I found your post interesting because of the wording you used "just because I decide to change my mind." Your commitment to your choices is probably easier to remain committed to since the desire for the alternative is absent. Not everyone is you, not everyone is lacking that desire. And one day, you may find yourself singing a different tune if that desire ever does grace your body and persist.
I understand Dr. Phil's choice to sway the men. These women have the urge, the desire, to be pregnant and be mothers. And being denied fullfilling that urge is something that cant be taken back. You get one turn in this life, and a womans ability to create life is on a definite time-table.
When you've never experienced the desire, making a choice seems pretty uncomplicated. The 1st couple made a choice, absent of desire. The wife couldn't know how much desire can affect your thinking which does ultimately result in regret for ever making the "choice" to not be a parent. Where now she has found her choice to have been made out of ignorance and the assumption that what she had experienced so far in lacking the desire, would be what she would forever experience on the matter.
I think Dr. Phil has a full understanding of how a woman being denied her desire will ultimately foul a relationship far more than offering understanding to the husband could.
