Replies to '12/19 Parents’ Ultimate Test: Dealing with Autism'

 Autism is not caused by vaccines. All the major researchers that claimed this, I think there were about 7 or so, have withdrawn their conclusions.
Read this link here, copy and paste in your browser:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6369347.stm

Autism comes in different 'grades'. From my twins, I knew by his age of 3 that there was something wrong with him.
When he was 12, I was sure it was autism. (By that time my brother in law had two children, one with PDD-NOS and one with autism.) I went to a children's psychologist and she told me it was not autism since he was reacting too socially...
Two years later a psychiatrist confirmed that I was right. My son went to a special school and so the twins were split up.

I read a book then called 'Brain deceived: When autism doesn't look like autism'  written by a Belgium expert (as far as I know, not translated in English) and found out that the troubles that my daughter had, were also caused by autism.
Just not the kind we can recognise so well - she is so smart, she felt so different when growing up and survived by watching kids her age and then copying their behaviour.
The psychologist who talked with her for over 1,5 hour started our converstation with him that she was not autistic... Can you imagine that, she was able to 'fool' him - not intentionally- too, a very experienced psychologist. When the conversation went on and we went through all her childhood and teenage problems, he later acknowledged our own conclusion: PDD-NOS. She was already 20 years old then.

Since the twins were split up, we began to see that the other twin did not do well at school. He claimed that he was glad that he did not needed to take care of his brother anymore,. But we guessed that their togetherness had helped them through their life. He was diagnosed with PDD-NOS and ADD a while later. With his ADD he has able to cover up some of his autistic problems, he was not shy like his brother, he could talked his way out of things, but he needed as much help in the end as his brother

It is so difficult with these children, since, apart from the youngest, the signs are not that clear. They have developed coping skills but are not really surviving 'normal life'. They need a lot of care, and I mean a whole lot.
We constantly have to adjust to them. The youngest has problems with communication, when my face shows emotion when I talk to him, he really gets upset. So when he comes home, I have to withhold any emotion when he walks through the door. I feel often that I am walking around with a mask - trying to cover up most of my feelings, otherwise he will get upset.

Every event is a challenge. Christmas was a challenge, so was New Year's Eve. Daily living is a challenge, like showering or walking the dog. Even asking them to shower is a problem, and so is trying to let them do some chores in the house - you have to announce everything at least a day ahead.
They need a lot of structure, and I am trying to structure their life as much as possible (and I hate structure myself, sigh).
There is no chance that they will be able to have jobs. I spend sometimes 2 days a week coordinating/organising the help they need, or giving feedback to the therapist from my youngest son.
The other two don't even have a treatment or therapy - there is hardly therapy available for these young adults.

As you can imagine, having three children with autism, it opens up your eyes and I see a lot of signs in my partner as well. Our relationship is difficult because of the lack of reciprocity (I had to look up that word in a dictionary, so I hope I choosed the right one! :-) ), so I am feeling quite alone living amongst my autistic family.
They say that amongst the blind, one-eye is king, well it is not: it is the lonesome place to be.

On my husband side of the family we have nephews with also autistic signs and problems similar to ADHD. But because they are 'highly performing' they do not get their diagnoses (or do not want to talk about it).

Why is autism so spreading? Because it does runs in families. When I count relatives from my in-law parents, there are 5 people diagnosed with this disorder plus 3 undiagnosed (including my husband).
So 8 people are affected from just one family. One of my nephews is expecting his first baby and to be honest, I am worried that this will go on further. Hopefully they are lucky.

I gave up my dreams of becoming a grandma in the future and try to survive every day. I sleep about 5 hours a night, am completely burned out and had to give up my job years ago.
I gave up worrying about the future,  since living just one day at a time and caring for my children is hard enough. I am not able to think further ahead than just one week - and I really need a calender for that.

Sorry, I just needed to vent these feelings, there is so much talk going on about autism. But believe me, vaccines are not the cause of autistic problems. It wonders me that the news from the article mentioned in the link above is not familiar in the US yet.
Hope it will help parents to get rid of the guilt that they have vaccined their children.