Replies to 'The Other Woman'

Quote From: aurora

 Hi, I'm in dire need of some advise. I'm 45  and have been divorced for 3 years.  My  problem is with a relationship I'm in now.  The guy I'm with was never legaly married but has lived common-law with two other women. He has 12 kids with #1 and two kids with #2. I get along with the kids ok. I have two kids from my former marriage also. All the kids are grown up . The majority of his kids all work for him and are living in housing and have everything all paid by him. #1 and #2 also live in housing and do absolutely nothing as he pays everything for them too. #1 has definite mental problems and lives in a fantasy where she thinks that he's going to come back to her, it's been over twenty years, he's since lived with #2 and he hasn't gone back. She's still here.  She's caused a lot of problems for me besides.  He allows her to get away with it too . #2 used to be a book keeper  for him but he found out she was embezzling funds. .He pays her a wage still even though she no longer does the books. About 5 years ago, he moved out to prvide care to his 90 something mother. he told me that it was a good excuse to get away from #2 in the hopes she'd move away. She didn't. In the last five years I helped look after his mom as well as taken care of his needs . I thought that things were over between him and #2 but when his mom past away, I was told that I wasn't to go to the funeral as I'd cause trouble. I thought he meant amonst his brother's, but later found out on the day of the funeral that it was because of #2. She never even went to visit his mom, nor has she even been around in all that time, she just showed up out of the blue. It was left up to me to drive all the way to where he was working to tell him his mom had passed away. Now his daughter is getting married. I was told I could go, but I didn't because he's still claiming #2 as a wife. I wasn't formally invited to the weding but the daughter had told me verbally to come.  I must be totally insane, becvause in spite of all this, I still love the man. He wants me to marry him, leagaly even,  so he says, but I can't help but feel that he's just stringing me along, I don't know what to do anymore, am i just a sucker for abusive relationships or what. Please if anyone anywhere has any advise, please post it here, thanks in advance.