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Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'
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July 29, 2005, 7:04 am PDT
 Quote From: kimbrem I am working towards a degree. The classes are biology and chemistry and then radiology classes and cannot be taken independently (which I would, if I could). I absolutely know why I want to be accepted. I normally don't worry about other's opinions. I am different. I know I am different and am ok with that. It is not gratifying to be "intelligent". There isn't a sense of self-accomplishment. It's just all chalked up to "being smart". I like people. I am not unpopular. I do have a wonderful assortment of peers that I am happy to be around. There are always other people who are "different" and they are usually very acceptant of others of the same or different kinds of differences. I like all people, well, mostly. I don't form negative opinions based on differences in intelligence, talent, religion, etc. It just seems so extremely difficult to be around people who have belief systems which make it ok to be hostile to others who are different from them. To me it is not acceptable to mock or degrade another persons beliefs. It's great to disagree and discuss/ debate issues. I so would like for it to be a part of my "educational experience" to foster that kind of discussion and debate. I would so want to face an open-minded set of peers. To me, it heightens my enjoyment and learning. My "differences" seem to inhibit that part of the experience. I am coming to realize that maybe if my "differences" are stunting those, it's not really my differences, but maybe that kind of open academic environment just isn't there. I fully understand the hostility thing. I don't judge them nor do I feel sorry for them any more. They are angry individuals and they chose to live in anger instead of learning to look at their anger and work thru the emotions. They see the world thru pain. I do fear them at times because they can do harm and when they do, they have excuses.
I long ago was given a tool and it was reinforced by Dr. Lawlis Weight Loss meditation cd's. I surround myself with white light - like a shield. When I know that I'm going to be facing those PEOPLE, I close my eyes, BREATHE, and then surround myself with white light. I see their barbs and nastiness bouncing off of me.
What I've learned is that they will remain in my life as long as they can see me react. When I no longer react they sort of walk away from me. It's also an excellent tool for people who fall into the THE WORLD IS SO TERRIBLE - LET ME TELL YOU HOW BAD MY LIFE IS.
If you practice it, it will be come 2nd nature.
The 1 thing I've learned from my last job was that PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE CAUSE THEY CAN. THEY HURT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY ARE HURTING AND WANT OTHERS TO HURT TOO! This tool is an excellent tool to help you break the cycle of letting these type of people into your life and controlling your emotions. |
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