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October 10, 2005, 11:56 am PDT
This may help
Quote From: jamrodHi. Personally, and I know it is hard...but I think I would try to just start bragging like crazy on what she is doing right(not saying you don't, because I don't know), but I think that right now she might be getting too much negative attention. I am saying this to help, not to hurt. Sometimes children continue to show negative behaviour because there is so much negative being shown. If she is getting in trouble at school and then is also getting it when she comes home too...might be a bit much for a four year old to take. Honestly, I would probably show concern when she didn't get a sticker and ask her what she can do tomorrow to do better. Then I would simply say, well, I love you and I know you are a fine little person...then just start bragging like crazy on all of her take home papers. Say,...wow...You have really improved on staying in the lines, this is great. You know, let her know it concerns you, but basically leave that between her and her teacher. Honestly, that is what I did with both of my children. I have a 13 year old daughter and a 7 year old son, and I learned early on that too many no's aren't very good for our children. Remember what Dr.Phil says...It takes 100 atta girls to make up one.. you aren't good enough. I truly believe that when you change "your" behavior that you will start to see a much needed and welcomed change in her.
ADD is of course always a possibility when children don't mind, but I think sometimes these things can be changed by simply making small changes in ourselves. Please know I am not blaming you, but am simply telling you what worked for me. Good luck to you.
jamrod(Jeannie) Hi, I have read what you have wrote and I hope I can help. I am a stay at home dad of 4 children and have been married going on 10yrs. It started with our first using sign language keeping in mind that once we started this we had to continue. It has stayed simple but effective now having 4 children and well discilplined. We had found most of our sign language online using simple words such as no, yes, quit, all done, please, thank you etc. The oldest now almost 8 and the youngest 18months this sign technique is still very effective. Now I know this is not for everyone but this was for us. Doing it this way you must keep it short, firm, direct, while making the sign and giving defination the child after just a few times will understand what you are saying, no yelling or getting loud. The attitude of your child will change in a short time. Let me know if this helps, it is not an over night remidy but you get what you raise.
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