Quote From: raven31077does anyone else have affectional problems towards there spouses after your with them for so long? I was just wondering, cuz my husband says that i am not affectionate with him enuff. I feel like he smothering me half the time instead of being my friend, lover, and husband.... i feel like i'm just here for his pleasure and if he doesn't get it when he wants it... he gets mad at me and says its me!!!
Its almost as if, I'm being told i don't know how to love anymore, but i try to make him happy. It isn't just his fault. I feel myself pulling away from him at times, but sometimes, i just don't want to be touched. Then, there can be a couple of days that i am all over him, but it doesn't last long. Does anyone else go through this with their long-term spouse or an ex-long-term spouse?
Just wondering
Rhonda
My husband and I have been "platonic" for years...granted, my husband's health is a concern in the sex department. We hug and kiss, but not the romantic kind...just a quick hug...no long kisses. I just don't feel like the romance is there. BUT we love each other very deeply, and neither of us have ever cheated on the other. Our relationship has matured beyond the need for sex...does that make sense?
My husband suffers from depression, diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, and other health issues. Last time we attempted sex, he was out of breath, very rapid heart beat (worried me very much)...I just don't feel that it is worth the risk.
There are times when I would like more cuddling and more hugs...my husband spends a lot of time on the computer, playing games. We watch TV together, but the bed is strictly for sleeping in.
I'm really glad that the romance thing with us is mutual...my husband complains once in awhile, but I just don't feel safe with the physical exertion on his part. I'm worried about him having a stroke or heart attack...is this unreasonable?
When one spouse wants more intimacy than the other, it can be difficult...we went through this when we had kids...I felt like that was all my husband wanted of me...constantly grabbing my behind and making comments...which isn't the way to put a woman "in the mood"...we are definitely wired differently. We both went through individual counseling, him for depression, and me for the bipolar...both of us have childhood issues that we had to work through. If it is a big problem for you, you might consider marriage counseling, or sex counseling.
I think I've probably given out too much info...I'm glad we're anonymous here...hee hee....Becky
