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Replies to '12/28 Wifestyles'
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October 10, 2005, 6:34 am PDT
 Quote From: ulrika I am so tired of non understanding husbands, my own included. He is a wonderful man but he do not get how much work it is for a SAHM. I am basically on call 12-13 hours a day. 7 days a week 365 days a year. If god forbid I am sick I have to get over it and still do everything that has to be done. Taking care of our child, cleaning the house, make sure the laundry is done. It is a ongoing job and you never get done. My husbands favorite line to me when I tell him that it is too much sometimes is "Ohh just sit down and relax for a while" All you SAHM knows how impossible that is with a 2 year old running all over the place. I have tried to tell him what it's like but he don't have a clue. The thing that pissing me off is that he does not see what needs to be done. Sometimes I feel like a maid instead of a wife. If I am doing everything alone now why not be alone. this is just frustrating to me that I have to nag him to do things.
Arggggggggghhhh I understand what you are saying. I have been married for 10 years and have 3 children all 3 years apart. My youngest is now 6 and will start school full time next year.
I went through the same struggle you are talking about. After about 6 years I finally realized that my husband didn't see the messes because he didn't care. Expecially when they were babies. He didn't mind having to step over the little ones toys (I was the one worried about that). He didn't care if the dishes were on the counter or in the sink (again me worrying). He didn't care if he had to get his laundry out of a basket every now and then ot even stare at a pile of laundry I was choosing to ignore until tomorrow.
After learning more about his family and how he was raised, I used that information to think about his concerns (or lack of) for the household. I realized that he didn't value a spotless house the same way I did. What he valued more was having time with me to laugh at a tv show or talk about something I heard on the radio, or even to sit quietly with me while I read a book. He valued me, not a spotless house. I fugured if he valued me over the house so should I.
Merely a suggestion, ask him what his standards for the house are. You may be setting your standards higher than they need to be and driving yourself nuts. I know I did. |
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