Replies to 'Online Dating'

This has been said many times and many ways. On line dating is just one more way of meeting someone.  You have to use the same common sense and intuition you would with meeting someone at the gym, grocery store etc.  The old adage "too good to be true" holds too. If someone is Too Perfect  be careful.  You can communicate on line as long as it take to feels  secure in taking it to another level but again go slow until you can verify that your initial impressions are still valid. Getting to know someone takes some risk but that doesn't mean you don't ask questions and be willing to walk away if you don't get the answers you  are looking for or are consistent.

The best way to "date" is to meet new people, form friendships and get to know them and not to look at each date as a potential marriage.  I agree online is just another place to meet people.  It's less frustrating to just take things as they are; some you may never talk to again, some you will stay friends with and eventually you will meet and get to know someone you will date once you know them and decide they are a person you can move further with.  I don't think you know any more online than you do off what type of person you are dealing with.  The only way to tell is to play it safe; talk a couple times, meet in groups or in daylight in public places.  Any person who is worth their salt will understand, comply and have patience.  The ones who are questionable will move on...so it's a screening process.  

  

Can't we just meet different types of people and not put so many expectations on it?  That would make dating much more fun - which is really what it's supposed to be.  Not that being single is a bad thing...I wish people wouldn't put such a negative spin on it. 

First off, this is my first post here.  Just thought I would let that be known!

Online dating services, to people who arent familiar with them, are often a mystery from how they work to how legit they are.  When you go onto one of the sites its not a 1 2 3 process.  You don't just contact the person and then meet up.  Usually people chat online for a while, then begin phone conversations and then take it from there.  Yes I know I just mentioned 3 steps there...but it doesn't all happen in an afternoon.  If it does, then a "sucker" as you put it was probably on one end of the deal.  People can easily lie on their profiles, post old pictures from their skinny days and make themselves out to be someone they aren't.  I suppose one thing that separates the adults from most children is the common sense and "gut feeling" when they meet someone.   If you chat with someone for a long time there are certain things that can give away a predator from the beginning.  If they seem to rush into the "relationship", always talking about meeting, asking personal questions early in the meeting process, things like that.  You will know when something is suspicious or just not right when it happens.  On online forums, not nessesarily just dating forums, it's good to look at their previous posts, sort of get to know them before you actually talk.  It gives you insight into their personality.  If you have seen their picture and arent sure if they are who they say they are tell them to take a picture of themself holding a piece of paper with their username from the site writen on it, that way you know it isnt a picture someone has stolen off of another site or something like that.  if they really want to get to know you it shouldnt be too hard to convince them to take the picture.  One good thing to invest in would be a webcam!  if the other person has one as well, then great!  you can see each other in real-time.

   the thing to remember though is that you have to use your best judgment, and only do what you are comfortable with.  in my opinion real dates can be just as dangerous.

You are absolutely correct...no one knows for sure that another person is completely safe, or that the site they met on isn't some scam and the person is there for the sole purpose of finding a mate.  However, I can tell you that I have had many experiences with online dating and all have been ok.  Do be careful - I was sure to never meet anyone alone for the first time.  I always had a friend present, and if I went out a second time, I made sure I told my plans to a friend and kept in phone contact.  I think there are a lot of scammers out there, but there are also a lot of genuine people and you just have to keep your eyes open.