Replies to '06/25 "What's Age Got to Do with It?"'

Turning 50,

   I am now 53, and have struggled somewhat with what you are talking about.  However, when I turned 50, one of my best friends called who was also struggling with the wrinkles that seemed to suddenly appear, menopause issues, etc.  What I told her might help you, because she told me that it helped her.

 

I told her that I am grateful to have made it this far. The wrinkles are a sign of beauty, its a different kind of beauty than society dictates.  It comes from trials and tribulations, happy times, said times, and silly times.  Its comes from the knowledge that we 'made it", and are continuing on this wonderful journey. 

 

This summer, in June, that same friend who called me with the aging question,  died unexpectedly.  She was 53. It is just a reminder that I am even more grateful to look at those wrinkles.

 

I still try to take care of myself,  dress nicely, exercise, eat right (most of the time) and spend precious time with my family when I can. Volunteering is something that I have been considering, and it may help you.  I think that you can chose what to consume your thoughts with, and I have chosen gratitude, and while not always successful at it, I find it the most rewarding.

Hope this helps!

 

 

I will be 49 in March.    I have noticed changes in my body and some weight gain along with a few gray hairs.    I just tell myself that I'm still here and that beats the alternative.   Laugh a lot and enjoy life's simple pleasures such as a sunrise, a child's smile etc.    Life is too short to worry about your age.   Just Live!!!!

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  What is your life like?  Have you accomplished some things that you wanted to by the time you reach 50?  Have you established a family?  Are you happy with your life in general?  The reason I ask is because those things have been so important to me.  I will also turn 50 this year.  I started my family at a very young age (18), I've been married (sometimes happily and sometimes unhappily) to the same man for almost 32 years, I have 3 grown children and 5 grandchildren.  I did not work much outside of the home as the kids were growing up.  I also didn't think much about nurturing myself.

 

I've been told I'm a "hot" grandma, but it wasn't always so, LOL!  I have finally started to nurture myself and it shows.  I've learned to say "no" more often to demands on my time.  I have found passionate pursuits that nurture my soul.  Sometimes I don't even actually get around to doing them, but just knowing that they are there is wonderful!  For example, I've found that I love photography, and I'm good at it!  Even if I wasn't good at it, the fact that I feel passionate about it is what is important; that is what has brought the satisfaction and healing that I needed. 

 

I would like to look my best for my age, but I don't want to look like I'm 35 again.  That would be holding onto the past.  To live in the present for me means to love who I am and who I've become.  I've earned these wrinkles, these stretch marks, this tummy that has expanded a bit to help me keep up my estrogen levels naturally.  When I'm getting dressed in the morning I make it a point to look in a full length mirror and tell my body that I like it.  And I do it even though I'm somewhat overweight, have some loose skin from past weight loss, and a few wrinkles and lumps and bumps here and there.  My aging body is not my enemy any more than my granddaughter's pre-adolescent body is her enemy.  We are just ever changings.  We were not meant to stay the same.  The only way it can feel like our enemy is if we try to hold onto the past.  If we let the past go then it becomes much easier to embrace who we are becoming. 

 

Try to think of the things you have accomplished in your life.  Maybe you've had a great career, or you've raised a family, and devoted all of your energy to that as I have.  Now try to take some time for you.  Find your passion, something that transcends your physical body, and feeds that young girl inside of you.  She'll always be there and it's your job to nuture her.  Think of some older people that you admire and figure out what it is that you admire about them.  I'll bet it has little to do with how they look. 

 

As far as your body goes, find out what really looks good on YOU.  Find your best style and stick to it.  If I find a shirt that flatters my shape I buy one in my three best colors...LOL!  Think classic rather than trendy.  Add a trendy accessory here and there to keep yourself up-to-date, but for your basic wardrobe, keep it classic.  Find a pair of jeans that really fit and flatter you...buy two!  If money is an issue, don't forget about the thrift stores.  It takes a lot of time to find what you are looking for, but the hunt can be a fun one. 

 

Take good care of your skin.  I have found a line of natural skin care products that work beautifully for me and have taken a good 5 years off of my face.  They are not expensive either!  Another tip is to take good quality supplements.  I take a fist full every day.  My doctor chuckles at me, but I feel great, and I didn't feel great in my late 30s and early 40s because I have fibromyalgia and CFIDS.  I believe that they've also helped my skin a great deal.  I have found an online source with very reasonably priced supplements. 

 

Guard your sleep.  Sleep is nature's spa in my opinion.  You need good quality sleep and a good amount of it.  Because I don't work outside of the home I have a huge luxury here.  I can sleep as long as I need to.  But do try to get your sleep.  It makes a world of difference in how you look.  Take a short, hot bath before bed each night to prepare your body for sleep, then slide into the most luxurious sheets that you can afford.  You are worth it!  And luxury doesn't have to be expensive.  I buy my luxury sheets at TJ Maxx and they are never over $40 a set. 

 

Exercise, or at least pursue a gentle art, like Tai Chi or Qi Gong.  This is my most challenging area.  I really struggle with it and hope to do better this year.  I'd also like to learn to meditate. 

 

Well, those are my ideas for you.  I hope that one or two of them will help.  Every time you think of yourself as getting older, try to give it some perspective.  For example, what would you say to a 6 or 7 year old that was disappointed that they couldn't look like a baby any longer?  It would simply be impossible and unreasonable, right?  How's that any different than you wanted to continue to looking just as you do now?  It isn't reasonable.  What is reasonable is to take care of yourself, and look your daily best as you continue to age, and to love who you are becoming.   The important part of yourself right now is that teenage girl that you abandoned at about age 14 to impress the boys (or other girls depending on your sexual orientation).  She needs to be nurtured. 

 

Take care and here's an early "Happy Birthday!" 

Stop focusing on the number (50) and get out and enjoy life.  Nothing drastic is going to change on your birthday, but if you continue to obsess on a number, you are going to be missing out on what could be a fun and very rewarding part of your life.  What are your interests? Pursue them. Get together with friends and family who have upbeat attitudes.  And again, forget about that number!!!  And Happy Birthday!

 
50 is the new 30 , so dont be stressed and take these few tips and I guarantee you will feel and look better !
What u eat not only shows on your body but plays a big part in how our skin looks . I cant tell u enough how important WATER is , so drink it till u cany anymkore ona daily basis .  SPF SPF SPF ! Most of us did a lot of damage years back and we have the dark spots and patches of discoloration to prove it . Chemical peels can help out tremendously. The cheap way to do is to go become a client at a beauty school . They teach glycolic peels with extensive suupervision. You can also have Micro-dermabrasion at most schools as well . The costs are incredible !

Before u buy any products - check the ingredients ! You want antioxidants , Vit A ( retinol ) Ascorbic Acid ( Vit B and only Vit B that penetrates the skin) and peptides. Make sure these ingredients are at the top of the list and not the bottom ! Dont let anyone tell you u need an AM / PM regimen. Thats a skin care myth.

You need 4 essential skin care items ONLY

Cleanser
Toner ( only if u oily or combination skin )
Vit C Serum ( L ascorbic acid ONLY ! )
Moisturizer   w/ SPF ( creams for drier skin and lotions for all others )
Eye creams - if u have dark circles , u must have VIT K in your eye cream .

If u are thinking fillers ( botox , resttylane etc.. ) be careful if u already have droopy upper eye lids - botox will make it worse ! Fillers are great IF applied by a great dermatologist who knows how to help YOU . You dont want to look like all those women that U KNOW hava had the needles , LOL

Hope this helps ! Remember , Diet and excercise is always important as well :)

There is only one alternative to getting old... that's dying. Give me another birthday anytime I have one coming.. I welcome them.