He is the father of those children as well. If you want him to spend more time with them, then maybe you should let go a bit and trust that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt the children. If he would then I would hope that you would not be there anymore. He at least was making a half effort by saying to leave you son. He very well could have said to go by yourself and take your son with you. Maybe it just didn't make sense to him why you both needed to go on a trip that really only takes one person to do. And if you wanted the company and would have enjoyed his, did you express that to him. If you vocalized the point of not wanting to leave your son with him when you went to your mothers, then that is what is going to stick in his mind. Then next time, he will be thinking "I can't do it right anyway, so why do it at all." Try not to condemn him for one instance in the past, this is giving him the easy out. Let him feel as though you think he is a good father (even if sometimes you need to bite your tongue) and he will try to live up to what you are saying. He may try to want to become the person that you are discribing. When my son was first born and my husband would ask what was wrong with him, I would simply tell him that it is my first kid also, I don't know anymore then he does just because I am a woman. After the first few times of trusting that he can figure it out on his own, he started to go down the list. Is he hungry, wet, tired, bored, etc? Now he will come in from work and all he will ask me is when was the last time that he ate....not "Is he hungry?", cause I don't know any more then he does. I tell my husband regularly that he is an awesome dad, and he always wants me to ellaborate. So I do. I think it reassures him, the same as if it would assure you and I. (wouldn't that be nice to hear, in the other direction, haha) My 2 year old loves his dada, even though I see things that I might have done differently. But that doesn't necessarily make me right and him wrong. So we try to discuss regularly ways that we can agree on parenting, even though I am the major care giver. I think he really likes to be involved, and it makes him want to interact more with his son. Don't get me wrong, my husband is not perfect and he has a long way to go. But by putting these few things to the test he is slowly starting to come around. I hope that it can for you as well. Take care. Hope to hear how things work out for you.
