Quote From: ericka91 I don't think there's anything wrong with living apart for a while. I just think both of them should grow up. There seems to be a lot of anger especially from the wife. She may not be getting the emotional support, consideration, or compassion that she needs from him. It's not always the problem of your spouse-sometimes we need to look at ourselves and make some changes first before we can expect others to change. Once the spouse sees the change it may encourage them to do the same...I'm sure this didn't just happen overnight. I've been here before, but fighting isn't going to solve things. This couple truly isn't hurting each other as much as they are their children. Trust me, I know. I came from a home where fighting never ended. My dad's behavior was the problem, and my mom just sit back and took it all. Us kids used to have night mares, shake, and cry. It caused fear within us. You may not think so, but it's so true. I'm still trying to deal with the anger/hurt inside of me and I'm 35. There was so many bad memories, we can't remember but a few of the good ones. I think there is a time of separation, but you don't have to act like the world's falling to pieces for the children. Nomatter what you need to act as if nothing's wrong if front of them-especially if they're smaller. If this couple can't get along-then they need to move on...
This show took me back to the time that I one day awoke to the knowledge that my precious sons were paying the cost of my remaining in a marriage that no longer was workable.
I like the above writer, found myself immersed with a husband that no longer honored the marriage contract or even came close to wanting a true partnership with myself.
We went to marriage counseling together, only once. He got so angry at the counselor because he stated that being she was a woman, she was on my side.
When communication ends, the relationship ends.
Today when I look back over those days and times, what I see is that my former husband and father of both our sons, was raised by a father that didn't love, respect or honor the mother of 7 children. Name calling, infidelity, belittling behavior was the norm...the thoughts of my sons being raised with so much anger and anxiety was not what I wanted for my dear sons...to grow up duplicating.
I disagree about the part about covering the bad moments. We are energetic beings and therefore our energy surrounds all that are close to us. They know how we are feeling, just by their ability to sense our emotions. They just don't know what is wrong, they only know that something is amiss...sometimes they think that it is them that we are upset with...
I think it would be better to take the discussions to the bedroom and behind close doors and as quietly as possible...we communicate with our spouse or boyfriend/friend, what our disturbances are and how we can best come to a compromise.
If compromises aren't possible, then counseling with a counselor who can mediate is perhaps the best game plan action in town.
Yet both need to be participating 100%, like Dr. Phil mentioned on the show...
I could see how both parties were not diving in equally committed.
Personally, I feel that some kind of perhaps sugar or hormonal imbalance is occuring with the wife...
In my practice I have seen several persons with eating disorders that seemed to have extreme highs and lows...I am not a medical doctor, so I will leave that one for the experts.
Those are my thoughts for whatever it is worth.
May You All Be Blessed
Love, Light and Peace
Tonie
