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Replies to 'Ready for Marriage?'
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January 7, 2008, 8:34 pm PST
 Quote From: tatobos I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We have had many ups and downs. I love him with all my heart and have given up so much to be with him. He is in the Air Force and was stationed in Germany for a while, while he was in germany he was deployed for four months. Since we were just dating, everytime he would get deployed or have to go traveling for the air force i would just fly back home and be with my family. Its been hard doing the long distance thing but we have managed to make it through. We now live in Ohio and are currently in the middle of planning our wedding that is to take place in July. everything was going great until we found out that getting my son this summer was going to be a pain in the butt. I have a son from a prvious marriage, whom my ex and I share custody. Anyway after I found out it was like a switch flipped in my fiancee head. Now he isnt sure if we should get married or not. He tells me that after everything he has done in the past he doesnt think I will ever trust him again. But I have told him over and over that its in the past, I just want to start a future. Now because of all this I too am having doubts, and it makes me sad because if we dont get married I dont want to wait any longer for him to grow up. Im so confused, how did everything go so wrong in just one day? Please help me. "Anyway after I found out it was like a switch flipped in my fiancee head. Now he isnt sure if we should get married or not." If he's not sure, then you can respect that, and yourself by thinking it over. Honestly, I dont think it would be a big deal...having your son come over for the summer....but it sounds like he's not interested in that, even though it is a part of your life. It's made him re think getting married. You are probably rethinking getting married because of his use of pornography and the fact that he has caught up with other women in the past two years. But you are ready to commit to someone, and you deserve that. Obviously at the moment it looks as if you cant get that from him. I started writing a message before (but it was too long) where I wanted to ask the question if these people cant help but be players. And now that you know about what he has done it isnt as fun anymore?. I dont think your confused....you want to get married, and you don't want to wait for him to grow up. Therefore you shouldn't wait around for him.The problem lies in the type of guy we are dealing with. I'm more the type that when it comes to marriage and commitment, I would prefer to sacrafice an opportunity to be with someone that I come across (the most tempting possibility) and do that for them because I love them and have made a commitment. And so I'd want someone who would do the same. This is when you have found someone you want to marry and have children with. Until then I think you may as well be single. Especially with these guys. I think the sexes are different enough, and I'm thinking that it is even too much to ask from a normal guy to sacrafice an opportunity for the person they are married too. And these guys arent as bad as the guys we are currently dealing with. |
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