Replies to '01/07 Don't Be That Girl'

There has always been a lot of talk, and a lot of books written, about the difficulty of relating to the opposite sex.  This guy's book is just the latest, and I don't really have any problem with him or his book.  But I do think that he is right about one thing.  Women (and men, too, but we were talking about women here) need to look at themselves if they want to find a satisfying relationship.  We spend a lot of time grasping at unsuitable men, obsessing over the qualities of various men, wondering about what men are thinking, complaining about what is wrong with men, creating lists of qualitites that men should have, and in general trying to make men responsible for our happiness.  We focus entirely on the men, and never on ourselves (unless of course we are being overly critical of our physical appearance).  We need to fix ourselves, and find peace within ourselves, before we can hope to have a satisfying relationship with a partner.  (Does the phrase "limit the emotional baggage to carry-on" resonate at all?)

You can't share your life if you don't have a life.  And no man wants to the responsibility of being the sole source of fulfillment for you (talk about pressure!).  Men want to share their lives with women who have something to offer.   So build your life as best you can, find more than one way to bring meaning to your life (career? volunteering? hobbies?  athletics?) and be open to the possibilities that present themselves.  And you need to accept the fact that you might not find what you want.  Not everyone gets everything they want in life.  But if you are happy with yourself,  you have a good solid base on which to live your life, and a much better chance of finding someone who will want to be part of it.  At least that has been my experience.