Sad truth is you should have ended this eleven years ago. You cannot compete with any intruder into your relationship-male or female-cos it is not about you. It is about the cheater and their problems.
The internet has made it much easier for him to indulge his tastes than ever before, however I do not believe most people "only look". Or if they do, it is for a VERY short period of time.
Your choice to have an affair was a bad one as well and only gives hubby more ammo. This man is a band-aid which is not fair to him. Relationships born of infidelity have a very short life span.
Why does he have to GIVE you a divorce? Check out state law with findlaw.com or nolo.com or better yet a local attorney. It may be financially advantageous to you to divorce while still in school. In my state he could be compelled to provide support for a period of time that would enable you to finish school at minimum. Talk to your school advisor about financial aid just in case. Think there is a six month advance submission for application. In other words, application for aid for Fall 2005 was due in February.
Of course he likes you being home. Called having your cake and eating it too.
The relationship you describe is not healthy, but you have to decide if/when you want out. My best suggestion is to be on your own for a year before beginning another relationship.
