Replies to '05/30 "Butt Out!"'

I remember all the wonderful things about my ex that drew me to him.  I remember the wonderful moments from our marriage.  However, our lives are no longer "together" and I can not allow him to continue to run my life.  Putting my children first is my ONLY priority.  I never speak badly about thier father or his girlfriend.  I never roll my eyes or get sarcastic when the girls speak of them.  I simply listen and I remind my girls that their father loves them.  I pray every day that my ex will get his life together and become a man that the girls can respect and look up to again. 

 

 

I'm not trying to attack you by any means, but until you've lived in a nightmare like this you don't realize there are people who do not but their children first. I have a similar situation, and have actually written Dr. Phil for help. My two children are 4/8 and their mother puts them in the middle of so much crap. I have tape recordings of her telling them she hope our dog was run over. She tried to run me off the interstate with my children in the car. My children beg not to go back everytime.
When I call to speak with my children she normally says no, but when she does allow me she doesn't let them just talk. She is in the back ground commenting on everything I say or telling them what to say. They are terrifed to speak about what goes on in her home.
I could go on and on, and you probably wouldn't believe most of the things that my ex has done.
I spent 2 years trying to obtain custody of my children, but despite all the evidence I had against her the judge still sided with her.
She puts them through mental abuse which, I feel, as far worse than physical abuse.

These people do exist. I will spend the rest of my life trying to undue what their mother has done to them.

I would love it my husbands ex wife, could focus on the need of the son. Not how to get even with my husband, or how to win a situation. It has caused so much pain, not only for thier child, but for the children that live in our home. The non stop court dates, the non stop wanting to change the visitation order, the non stop harrassing phone calls. To deny your child desperate educational and medical needs of the child who is 6, and mentally challenged, possibly autisitc.....just to be oppositional..makes me so angry. Her and her husband niether of them work, and yet they " dont want to waste  a day " to take him to the specialist, that pediatrician wants him to be taken too......i have scheduled everything around this lil boy, and his visits to see his daddy...to simply just be about winning, and not caring about the sons' welfare irriates me to no end. I am not sure how to deal with this. I am being told I have no place in what happends in my home concerning this matter. So when do I have a say in the chaos and interjection of this woman's insanity thrusted upon my family ????   i document everything, i keep all emails. contact is to be only thru email with her...yet she called 14 times last wednesday. and 12 times yesterday. to simply argue..my husband had to take him to the ER yesterday, for an ear infection. and it was told to him to keep him down and out of the cold, for atleast 24 hours. yet she couldnt let him stay an extra night, ( there is no school today, and legally it is our day to have him ) to let him rest. It was -17 below here with windchill..but oh no she had to have him, because if we kept him an extra night, that would mean we had more this week than her........so anyway. i have vented. Spouses who insist on making the others life hell..need to examine thier motives, and get real about it.  they need to grow up and show the child they matter. I wish my husband could get a fair shake with the courts system. He has been fighting this since she left him while he was in Iraq...3 years ago.....what is a father to do when the mother's agenda of revenge and spitefulness takes presendence over the well being of the  child ? do the fathers not count ? it seems that way to me. I sympothize with that couple, my husband and i work our tails off, while i go to school as well, just to take care of the family and pay her child support, while her and her husband sit on thier butts, get welfare, live with her mother, and have grandpa pay for everything. they live better than most working ppl i know....i am angry to say the least. to see a child being used as a pay check and the courts allowing to be that way ......