Replies to '01/14 "At War with My Teen"'

I'm glad that somene else besides me sees that the mother is obviously the problem.    I felt so sorry for the kid and was so touched when Robin went up on stage to sit by him and comfort him.   The mother is looney!!

 As I sat here watching this very cold emotionless woman, deep angry frown lines consuming her face, I felt so much anger towards her.    Why do mothers who purposely or inadvertently screw up their children,  turn around and take no responsibility for it later?  Are we to believe she only aquired this young man a year ago and he was actually raised by wolves, not by her?   I mean she acts like they just met and she has no idea why he behaves the way he does.  Really?  She's baffled, can't figure it out.  It's not rocket science lady.  If you pound away at someone for years and years because you are an out of control rage a holic what is that you think you will create?  What will be the outcome when they are tweens or teens?  Oh yeah it will be Micheal.  Good bad or indifferent, he is now YOUR creation.  You made him the way he is today.  He's not even on drugs (although I don't know why not), but he simply rages because you rage.  And have always raged.  I'm guessing your mother raged at you and this is all you know quite frankly.  Very sad.  Don't you think it's long overdue to stop this dated tradition in your family.   It's up to you and your husband to make things better.  Adults must take the first step.  YOU leave the room or the house when he starts in on you, not the other way around. DO NOT engage him, leave the room or property if need be.   

My mom did things to me growing up, whipped me with a belt, slapped me in the face, said nasty things to me.   By the time I was a tween I needed a truck load of therapy (my mom had no idea why I was the way I was.  Are you kidding).  I started hurting myself because I had no self esteem, she had stolen it and replaced it with complete rage and insecurity.  Today she barely aknowledges much of it, but I never forgot.  For many years it consumed me as an adult and I hated her, even wished she would die.  In the last 5 or so years I have finally come to terms with it.   My mother and I have a pretty good relationhip now.  I'm 48, that's how long it can take to move on mothers out there.   This woman like my own mother has changed who Micheal was to become.   She picked on him for years and now he is broken, much like her.   I really hope this mother can change for the sake of her sons own sanity and future quality of life.

I think it is very hard to judge whether a child's bad behavior choices is always due to bad parenting.  We must not forget that we are all born with different personalities and with a free will to act however we choose to.  Would it be fair to say that God was a bad Father because his first children, Adam and Eve, chose to rebel?  I've seen bad kids cause great parents a lot of stress, as well as great kids emerge out of homes that were dysfunctional.  Let's fact it, it's not easy being a parent, nobody's perfect, and without God's help, it certainly is impossible, if not very difficult to make it through the years of parenting teens while still holding on to our sanity.