Quote From: km7574Maybe there is another mom out there who can help me. I gave birth to my first son three months ago and my husband and I agreed that I should stay home and care for him. My husband gets really mad because the house isn't spotless and he does always have big fancy dinners. He says that all I have to do is take care of the baby, clean the house, cook dinner, do the laundry, do the shoping, pack his lunches and lay out his clothes. He said that isn't all that much and I am doing a terrible job at it. He works full time and goes to school (college) full time. I feel like I am drowning. I get done as much as I can when I can. Am I a bad house wife? Why do I feel like a slave instead of a wife and mother?
You know, I have given more thought to what you have posted. I don't know what type of work your hubby does or how many/what courses he is taking but he DOES get to leave the house daily (I am assuming at least 5 days a week possibly 6 if he works on Saturdays) and he gets to interact with different people daily. You on the other had live at your work place. yes, you read right, STAY AT HOME MOM is a real job and it is not just one job but LOTS of jobs. YOu are on call 24 hours a day for 7 days a week.
This is a conversation my husband and I had back when our second child was born. I'd be almost crazy by the time he came in (he works farming and that in itself a hard job). He just couldn't understand why the house looked like a disaster zone, the kids were all over and supper was getting later and later each day. I finally told him I understood the need for him to relax when he came home but he had the luxury of leaving home and doing different things in a different environment. If work became demanding or stressful, he could at least leave it at the end of the day and come home. I on the other had was at work 24/7 and NO days off. Our kids are his kids too and if he could just play, read or do something with the kids before and after supper maybe things could get cleaner and quieter faster. He went as far as to bath our youngsters and dress them for bed while I cleaned up after supper and did a few extra chores. Things went much better then. I was lucky that my hubby saw that yes what I did was a REAL job and I wasn't getting any breaks.
We've kind of have hit a rough patch again recently because of on going annoying health problems on my part but after several doctors appointments (gosh as I get older I swear I am falling apart! LOL!), he realized that yes I was in pain and that some simple tasks like mopping or carrying the clothes baskets aggrivated the condition. He helped me assign the kids certain household tasks to help out weekly and gets after them for not doing expected chores like picking up after themselves.
Maybe your husband can do some baby duty in the evening while you catch up on some chores and on weekends when he isn't working or in class take baby out for a stroll or even watch baby for a few hours while you goto market for the bulk of household items that he couldn't shop for during the week after work.
Point is it is his baby too and he has a responsibility towards his child and his household and that includes more than just bringing home a paycheck.
