Quote From: airmansmom? I forgot how to take care of me! Sounds crazy but I married at 18 had my son at 20 my daughter at 21(14 months apart.) I spent the last 19 years being a mom and trying to survive a bad marriage, my kids grew up and are almost gone. I know this is a good thing, but I feel like I have been left behind with nothing. My son got a girl pregnant at 18 then got married and joined the Airforce all in 2007! And my daughter decided to add to this by acting the fool (I guess for her share of attition) Things have calmed down and the kids are doing ok, but they dont seem to care about me. I know this sounds like I am fealing sorry for my self, may be I am, I just dont know how to stop being mom and try to have a life of no kids when I put so much time into this. I feel like I just woke from a coma and the world passed me by while I was rasing my kids. I just cant seem to move on!
airmansmom
Don't be too hard on yourself. It is hard not to feel BITTER after you have poured your ENTIRE life into your kids and have them seem not to care. My mom did the same thing and to this day I have nothing to do with her due to her TOXIC way of "interacting" with me. I made a PROMISE to myself not to repeat the same mistake. And yes, it does hurt when my only child (21, girl) does not make time in her now busy college life, but I had to learn to "get up" "get out" and CREATE my life. I raised her on my own, so you know I got used to her being around although we had our MAJOR dramas when she lived at home. I am still dealing with her and her "care one moment, then does not" attitude. Several times I have "distanced" myself from her and she begs to have me back in her life. But I have told her that one day I will just go away and not come back as I refuse to stay in "victimville" for anyone! I spent too many years allowing people to hurt me and I ended up depressed. Yes, you just woke up from a coma and now it is time to find a life for yourself. I am not BITTER towards my daughter because I did not give up my life for her the way my mom did for me and my two brothers, but I have to figure out what I want to do jobwise now that I can work because I like the job and not because I am a single parent. Take it one day at at time. Get some counseling. Talk. Find hobbies you enjoy. I am walking myself to death (smile) just to deal with a heartbreak I experienced in December 2007 from a man I thought would not "dog" me out. And yes, I looked to my daughter to fill the "emptiness", but the bottom line is she can not and should not. Walking has given me some "peace of mind" and sleep at nights. Do you enjoy anything? I like to read too and read 4 self-help books back to back in December just to UNDERSTAND why I ALLOWED this man to "dog" me out. Yes, I ALLOWED him and now with this "knowledge" it will not be happening again. Thanks for sharing and please keep us posted on how you are doing. YOU CAN DO IT !
