Replies to '12/28 Wifestyles'

Ma’am, 

I am also a wife and an active duty military member.  My husband has been active duty in the German Air Force for 6 years, until just recently.  I have to say it seems a little more difficult for those of us who are married military.  I am by no means saying any other marriage is easy… heck who would I know!  But anyone with a demanding schedule can say that it is difficult to keep a marriage a happy one.  My husband and I are both on call 24 hours a day; we were both in college part-time taking anywhere between 2 and 4 courses a quarter until just recently when I graduated.  It does take a team to make a relationship with this many obligations to work, as I am sure most of you know.  We have to spilt housework and other obligations.  It is not always possible that I get home in time to make dinner.  We like to have dinner together at the table, just the two of us each night between 6 and 6:30.  If he gets home at 5 and I am not here yet and he wants to eat at 6 he has to step up and make something.  Generally that something comes from a box!  But he doesn’t even hesitate to get out the box and start reading the directions.  If all else fails he goes to a local take-out.  Either way he takes care of it for me.   

I honestly believe that a good marriage is only about 15% true love.  The rest is comprised of communication, empathy, understanding, and a true sense of respect and caring.  Each day I want to do everything I can to make my husband the happiest man in the world.  Why, because I am submissive and forget about what I want?  Absolutely not.  It makes me happy to see him happy and I know that each day he does everything that he can to make life better for me.  We both sacrifice so much to get our college degrees finished so that we can make a life that is good for our future children and us.   

We are still in our early days of marriage and learn something new each day to make our marriage successful.  In the end, I believe what will make our marriage last is open communication and mutual respect.  I love to make the house extra clean and make his favorite dinner when I have a few days off work.  Because I love to see him come home and smile and say thank you.  I like to get a little bit of my personal obligations done during the week when he is out so that we can have a few extra moments together on the weekend without worrying about house cleaning and shopping.  He does the same thing when he is at home for a few days.  It is the best feeling to come home after a long day at work and see that my husband put in a little effort that day and did something so small as mop all the floors.  Not because the cleaning is important, but because he thought about something that would take little effort on his part and would make the day easier for me.  Because he respects me enough to see what I do everyday.  I don’t expect him to spend his entire day off cooking and cleaning and taking care of lawn because I know he works hard every day too.  So his effort goes a long way.  All relationships are give and take.  I look at some couples and think that man would never treat his best guy friend like that.  So why would he treat his wife, his princess, like that.  And ladies we are the same.  We don’t nag our girlfriends!  Why treat our own prince that way.