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January 17, 2008, 4:04 pm PST
01/17 "Get Your Act Together!"
Quote From: oldbroadinbigd
Enabler: - parents, grandparents, usually MOTHERS of adult children who perpetuate the situations by allowing themselves to be taken advantage of - all in the name of LOVE
Emotional blackmail: Using a child to emotionally blackmail a parent - this is right on, too, because what grandparent (especially GrandMOTHER) would want their grandchildren on the street?
It is not mean and cruel to raise your children with the constant that they are to develop skills, obtain educational goals and make smart choices in order for them to be self-sufficient to lead an authentic life.
I know what I'm talking about, people. 4 years ago when my m-i-l was dying and we had to evict her alcohol and meth-addicted 48 year old loser of a son (and his illegimate young son) who lived off her, trashed her 4 bedroom suburban home into squalor, jacked her ATM for $300 every 3 days yet there was never food in the house, etc. He didn't last 5 months in the apartment we fronted him the money for - was evicted by the time we moved her into a nursing home - if we hadn't sold her home so quickly (thank you, God, you always come through!), his plan was to just slink back in there - I'm cutting this off now but, believe me, my husband (the good son) and I pleaded with her for years (because she was just heartsick about how he was leading his life) to cut him loose but she was a classic enabler under the guise of MOTHER LOVE and didn't want her grandchild to suffer - she did this guy no favor at all.
P.S. - I realize when addictions are involved, that ramps up the problems but why do you think a lot of these people don't have any money - even if their addictions are just cigarettes?
I'm always curious just how people who think it is so easy for the grandparents to just kick a 4-year-old and 3-year-old out in the street with their no-good father and mother sleep at night, and are they so willing to just lose contact with these children, leaving them with no support at all. When you see girls like Britney in the news, with the way she's treating her kids, the question people ask is "Where are her parents?" I would have absolutely no trouble kicking adults out, but kicking out children is another story. On the other hand, if the grandparents are the type of humans that can kick little kids out in the street that way, it's probably for the best that they have very little contact with people who have no compassion for their grandchild anyway, and the kids are just going to realize they are alone in the world, and just so long as those grandparents don't go around calling themselves Christians, after kicking children out, I leave them to talk to God about it some day... you know, the one who said to give the beggar the shirt off their back.
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