Quote From: mistyinriI agree with the idea of putting a time limit on getting a job, savings ect. I think however, the question is what do you do if they do not comply ? Do you stand your ground and insist that they move out and learn the hard way ?
I can tell you from exp. I had to do just that. My Then 19 yr old, refused to get a job after being fired twice, was belligerent and disrespectful when confronted about work, & bills & had a brush or two with legal issues. I finally had enough & insisted he leave after being particularly verbally abusive. It has now been close to 6 months later. He has found a roommate, does not work, goes to community college - has good grades for the classes he does attend, but essentially not much has changed as far as his sense of responsibility. I've told him if he makes an effort and gets and keeps a job, I'll help him with acquiring a car. Still.. nothing. SO... What do you do ? It kills me to see him living like this.
You know I hate to sound harsh, but do NOTHING, he's I assume over 19 now, he is an adult, and as an adult, he is free to make his own choices, good or bad, some will only learn the hard way.
Now its time for YOU to let go, and realize these are his choices to make. Seriously, NO ONE wants to see their children suffer, but we do them no favors by bailing them out all the time.
But there is a bright side, he's still quite young, and he has plenty of time to turn this around for HIMSELF, if he CHOOSES.
Son or NOT he has NO RIGHT to verbally abuse you, or FINANCIALLY ABUSE you, and you DO NOT have to take it from him.
His life is his to live now, as Moms we will see our kids do things that make us CRINGE (I'm sure my Mother has a tongue piercing now from biting it so much ), but that's just it, mom is there to vent on or talk to, but she isn't our "PARENT".
Good luck to you though, find your own life, hobby, part time job, whatever find support, he will probably come around if he is FORCED to stand on his own.
