Replies to 'Pornography'

Quote From: kimikomine

Hello. I hear your reasonings for wanting to "snag" him. But what will you do when/if you find out he has been looking at porn again? Are you going to throw it in his face and remind him how miserable you feel, how degrading it is, how humiliating, how disrespectful it is to you? The first line of defense is a good offense. He will justify it and he might even blame you for making him look at it because you are such a nag, closed minded, and even possibly jealous!  I speak from experience this is why I present it this way. When I first got married my husband did not hide his desires for porn use.He flipped it on almost immediately from the beginning. I gave it a few shots and realized that at that time, I was not into porn watching with him during lovemaking. It took away the intimacy and excitement of being with one another. I told him how I preferred we not watch it during lovemaking. Maybe women are more geared to protect and preserve and our irritation with their needs of it are not in our mindset. Either way, I told him nicely that I don't want porn during lovemaking. Suddenly lovemaking was minimized and his porn use seemed to go out of control. Every nite I lie in bed while he looked at porn. At first, I thought, "eh....he's just flipping through, but then he would not come to bed and turned down the sound. My disinterest in porn gave him reason to punish me. Why? Because he wasn't getting his way. Be careful how you approach this very delicate issue because how you go about it will determine how much damage will occur in the near future with him. He will turn you into this monster that will make you feel guilty for not giving him his way....kind of like a child when you deny them access to the car or something! Approach it as maturly as possible because you are going to be the one hurt by all of this and he will just look at you like you are a lunatic by asking him to stop doing this. Good luck. Kimi